Do yourself a favor ...

I went to therapy today and I was left with a reflection that I share with you: you can't solve something today in the same way as you solved it a long time ago.

That doesn't always work, since many things from the past, although they resemble today, are not necessarily the same as what we live in today. We need to create new solution processes adjusted to our personal growth, maturity and experience. Let's force people to respect each other …

We try to get people to behave according to our stories from the past, because, in the end, that's all we know. But if we decide to live from here on without that story... who are we going to relate to?

The only way to sustain the new is to understand that respect begins with one, is for one and is born from one.

And from that place the healthiest boundaries appear. Let's not accept abuse because you need a job to eat. Let's not accept abuse because we are the ones who always help others.

This is one of the first decisions that transforms a life.

When respect begins in oneself, everything takes on a sense of greater value. We learn to honor our effort, our work and our time. We stop depending so much on the approval, recognition or validation of others.

The way we respect ourselves teaches others how to relate to each of us. This means that we are much more similar to trees than we think, but we have not yet learned to grow like them.

A tree doesn't shrink because the one next to it grew bigger. He does not hide his branches to avoid making him uncomfortable, nor does he interpret his height as a competition.

Nor does he keep looking at who has the most leaves, who bloomed first or who receives the most light. Everyone seeks their own space and grows from what they are.

We, on the other hand, often turn other people's growth into a threat. We compare ourselves, compete, criticize or feel that the advancement of the other says something about our own life. And other times we do the opposite: we reduce our voice, hide our achievements and stop expanding so that no one feels less at our side.

But growing up shouldn't have to mean stepping over anyone. And allowing another to grow up shouldn't make us feel small either. In a forest, for example, there can be trees of different shapes, heights and ages without one having to disappear for the other to find the light. Perhaps that is the true teaching: not to compete for the light of others, but to learn to seek one's own.

You don't need to shrink to be accepted or turn anyone off to shine. Everyone has their own path, their own rhythm and their own way of growing towards what gives them life.

If this post made you think about someone, share it with them, to continue talking about what it looks like to grow up at every stage of life. That's what I learned this day, and it blew my mind. I loved my therapy today and I wanted to share it with you directly.

Janitze 🌹