I must admit, it still feels strange for me to have my bad days recorded during this 365 day challenge. Especially considering I use the name 'Kristen Sparkle' at the end of every entry and email. I am a positive person for the most part, but there is a reality to the whole thing.
My life is not perfect. It's not like I wake up everyday in a beautiful house with ample amounts of food, money, support or freedom. I have Complex Regional Pain Syndrome- CRPS. It's non curable, has the highest rated pain recorded and it is constant. It's taking over both of my legs and my right arm. It's all connected. My scoliosis, herniated discs in my neck and back with pinched nerves creates a lot of pain in my back and neck. The fibromyalgia takes over the rest of my body. These pain conditions not only create physical symptoms, they take over my brain too.
Nerves control everything and mine are controlled by CRPS. I can't think straight or control my emotions. I can't remember what the heck I said 5 minutes ago, let alone yesterday. (But I can remember alpha numeric codes like a champion?) The brain and nerves are odd things, but they literally do control us and our lives.
That's where Neuroplasticity and Mindful Based Stress Reduction come into play. Kindness towards ourselves can grow beautiful things.
My life is nowhere near perfect. CRPS is nicknamed the 'Suicide Disease'. It's awful. But I'm fighting it everyday all day and I will not let it win over my happiness.
And I am so honored to be connected with as many chronic pain warriors as I have been. There are so many of us all fighting for better days and to inspire hope in one another, it has been so refreshing for the community. There is hope and we are so much stronger together.
Now that's out of the way:
I have 22 days left until the official opening of my dreams. Me and my Soul Sister continue to work hard towards a project that is near and dear to our hearts. The additional time was extremely necessary. We are both Spoonies and needed to work a few hiccups out before presenting this to the world.
Next week, I will have more details to share with you all and I truly hope to have some of your support with journey of 1,000 miles that will begin with the first step. (Not literally, I know I organized the Walk to Conquer CRPS, but this project has nothing to do with literally walking. That would be cruel at this point in my journey.)
On Sunday, I will be having my healing session and I cannot express how excited I am for this opportunity. Spirituality has been a part of my life since I was 12 years old and it was a journey I traveled alone. Along the way I have met some amazing individuals and I find every person I meet is a teacher of sorts. However, Chaya's energy is the most powerful I have come across (Except when Theresa Caputo jumped over the blockade to come up the stairs to connect with me in the ways the Universe planned.). Chaya has an amazing gift and I look forward to benefiting further from it.
On that positive note, I am going to prepare for the day. Make today a great day with positive thinking everyone and be kind to your mind, it's listening to you ;)
Positive thoughts,
-Kristen Sparkle
Day 208/365
Entry 95/183
@ConquerCRPS and @HippieRaysWays on Instagram
