So today, I will share with you guys one of many stories about me being bad at personing. Yes "personing", it’s where you act like a normal person.
So let me set the scene for you all: There I am at my work (At this time I worked at a Christian Bookstore). It’s been a long day, and I didn’t get much sleep at all the night before, therefore the whole day I was slurring my words, making mistakes, and just altogether being a plague on humanity…
Towards the end of the day, in walks a young lady probably around 25-30 years old very polite, very sweet, but there was something odd about her…I will explain, she was a short-ish woman who wore a long jean skirt and her hair up in a bun, in my line of work, that usually meant a Pentecostal women, but this one was quite different…Whenever she talked to you, or you to her, she looked you DEAD in the eyes. I’m not talking about a soft gaze here, but an intentional, focused stare that would make you pee icicles! The point is, this lady was intimidating as heck, and had a stare that would make the Roman Army brown their britches(poop their pants)!...Very nice lady though haha.
The Lady in question, I have named The Goddess of Fear and Desolation, BUT for time reasons, and key strokes, we will call her Susan.
Susan is now ready to check out. She had found a couple little nick-nacks, the ones of which this particular book store is known for. We made polite small talk and she started towards the door after purchasing her items. On her way out, I did a stupid thing.. I said “Have a nice day blurflufrere!” What does that mean you ask? I HAVE NO IDEA! Guys, I don’t even know what I was trying to say! It’s like I had a miniature stroke and was speaking gibberish! I could’ve left it at “Have a nice day” and all would be well and I probably would’ve gained the respect of Susan, BUT NO. Instead Susan, the Goddess of fear and Desolation, now thinks I’m an imbecile! Now dear Friends, I am quite used to failing socially, so I just hid my horror, and brushed it off and expected her to do the same……But no. That just wasn’t Susan. OH no she decides she needs to understand what I was trying to communicate. She asks “I’m sorry what?” Really, Susan? REALLY? A normal person would’ve just walked away with a confused demeanor, and told their buddies later for some laughs, but SUSAN was special. I mean really, what do you think I meant?! It meant nothing! I literally combined the word "blur", and "fluffer" in a slurred mess.
Well, there was no ignoring it now. I then began to explain, how I suck at words, and had a long day. It went something like this: “I….I just slurred my words.. I was trying to say something, I don’t really know what, but it just failed. I am so very sorry.” To this she answered with a polite yet confused smile and high pitched tone “Okay” you all know the “Okay” to which I am referring! It’s that same one you give that kid that comes up to you and says she, "wants to be a space unicorn" when she grows up. Its odd but you hate to crush such courageous dreams. Same thing here, in my situation.
In any case, I then got to go back and tell my boss, I said words to a customer that weren’t actually words, and she had a nice laugh, for a good minute, and then a co-worker joined in. It was just dandy!
The End.
Thank you for reading my story and remember we all say stupid things sometimes. Feel free to comment with your awkward moments!!
If you enjoyed my ramblings please Up Vote and follow. -The Bean
