It's been a while since I wrote to my blog in this manner. In my pursuit of quality, I've taken the time to proofread and revise in different applications before I posted it to a relevant community. And I'm grateful. Those communities, even if I rambled on and on about matters only important to me, offered readers kind enough to share their thoughts with me.
I wrote a couple weeks back that success is in the process. And I still think it's true, but with the addition of a new element, this full-time customer support job, the process isn't as strong as it used to be.
Knowing my exuberance, I most likely failed to mention that I'm endeavoring to write daily to my blog this year. It's coincidentally the last day of the month, and barring the close shave that this written reflection is, I will have actually accomplished it. I stop now to insert an image in order to maintain my visually arresting content.
Now that I've added that image of Kerry looking at a centerfold, probably Miss December from 20 to 30 years ago, I can continue that I feel very proud of what I've accomplished thus far this month. Now, I wasn't confident I would have a job by this point in the year, because to be honest, I was even more certain I would've had it already.
See, what readers don't know is that I applied for a position at the same company a lot closer to the month of August or September last year. I've been wrong before too; maybe the time was closer to October. I interviewed well, and was even told so by the interviewer after the fact. It seemed like things finally started to pick up.
That feeling sunk to the bottom of my stomach when I read one email that day. The job position had been cancelled. Now, with not having any control over these events, I felt a wave of things that could hardly direct at anyone or anything. I went mute for at least 2 days. I mean, what was there to say?
I was still broke, still unemployed, and what's worse had more bills than income. I can't make this stuff up. I look book at that point, thinking now, 'Wow, I'm surprised I didn't quit.'
It's not completely accurate to say that. I supposed part of me did face the facts. The fact is, I had no job. So I thought to myself, why not make what it is I can still do, my sole occupation. I could still read, I could still write, so all hope wasn't lost.
I binged video games while I plotted on how I would move forward from what appeared as a backbreaking hurdle. I bring all that up now to say, I made the right choice at a decisive moment. And with that, take another picture of Kerry.
I reckoned, with all that free time, I ought to get stronger and write smarter. Maybe by some dumb luck, I practiced the right skills that would help me today. I'm listening to presentations and details about the insurance industry all day, taking notes and nibbling on cashews and cranberries to stay awake. I'm answering questions like I did during the pandemic: on Zoom, from a laptop, with my eyes blistering from fatigue and lack of intrigue.
I can't wonder about would've happened to me if I gave up. The thoughts just don't come to mind. In fact, I think the setback then only incensed me to come back harder. Now, this triumphant sense of motivation in my thoughts today belies the fact that I felt very close to a dark place.
I think that the dark places some people go, aren't very far from where we all might end up. It just takes one wrong turn, a step going the other way.
January witnessed many personal milestones of mine. I've exercised consistently. My diet incorporates food for muscle growth and overall health. I'm actually still broke, mind you, but no longer unemployed. And, I have the good fortune of a vocation that challenges me to write and read- to really explore my surroundings and leave behind my comments on the experience.
I apologize for not having anything beneficial to say, something practical to follow. Hell, I'd be mad at reading for 500 plus words and not finding a simple takeaway. Yet, that's all I got for you now. Whatever you do, keep going.
