Standing at the edge of my world
Wondering what I found
Stretches of nothingness
Fall before my eyes
Like deserts .
My mind rewinds itself
Back to the forgotten beginnings
Only to find emptiness
Staring back at me
Like the dark.
Sheltered memories flicker
Somewhere behind the unmasked scenes
Cowardly inspiriting greatness
Where hope has long evaporated
Like coming rains.
The temptation to take a step
And end everything in a single leap
Secretly dares boldness
To consume my tired soul
Like oxygen.
There on the edge of the cliff
I sempiternally live
Unashamedly faking wholeness
While enduring this inner battle
Like every other human.
I don't know why this mood came up. The constant battle with dark thoughts and the pressure they exude. I am one unsettled soul. One who interracts with light and dark on a parallel level.
What I mean is... one minute I can be this person who is extremely happy and vibrant but the next I am cold as ice. The frozen mode springs as a defensive mechanism to prevent anyone or anything past the mask available or anywhere near my reshuffling emotions.
Also embracing the idea of personal space as my soul is under incessant construction and deconstruction. Learning and unlearning. Find self more and more as we progress. It's a beautiful journey. Personal if I might add that. But it's also draining. Though we never say that out loud... or do we?
BQ.
