Hello my dear readers _{(note to self - if there is still anyone left out there)} . It's hard to believe it's been almost 2 years since I last wrote on Hive... It's 5:37am right now and I'm sitting on my _{(note to self - once upon a time gaming )} chair thinking of how much has happened since then and feeling lost of here to begin.

There are so many things I wanna write about... And even more so, things I feel like they are trying to burst from my soul. In the past year and a half I embraced the journey of starting a family with my partner, got pregnant, gave birth and I am currently plunged _{(note to self - maybe crashed is more accurate)} into motherhood like a bungee jumping adrenaline junkie.

Only I'm still in that feeling that I just got pushed over the edge.

Since time is short now _{(note to self - and my baby is probably going to wake up soon to feed)} , today's post is about how I found _{(note to self - or felt! )} my way back to Hive again.

_{(note to self - and now I wonder if my type of writing and posts will be different then before... Maybe with a lot more tipping errors 😅 Ahhh, how not to love sleep deprivation, right?)}

You see, dear reader, I'm currently battling post-partum insomnias, which is a very weird thing to have when you are so tired and so sleep deprived that the only thing you can possibly think about _{(note to self - and desperatly need )} is... sleep.

_{(note to self - Baby's awake calling for me 🙃. You got to love that maternal instinct right?)} There is this crazy and wonderful thing that seems to happen every night, that I wake up a few seconds before my baby does. But I diverge...

Tonight, as I layed in the dark, fully awake after two hours of trying to settle my baby that was restless trying to poop, and of course, changing diaper and then wanting to talk and move, I felt a deep desire in starting to write again. I couldn't shake out of my head so many topics and words that were popping up.

Therefore, as I now learned a bit better trusting my gut, I got up, spent half an hour finding my keys again and logging in. _{(note to self - and I mean, spending half an hour at 5am finding long lost passwords keys... that's commitement! 🤣)}

Anyways... Since I'm not sure if or when I'm going to be able to come back, I feel like leaving a poem that I wrote recently in the hopes someone can relate.

This poem was written originally in English and I don't think it's the colourful, blessed and grateful kind of poem you, dear reader, might expect from someone that is lucky enough to have a healthy, cute and most adorable baby girl in the world _{(note to self - yeesss! It's a giiiirl 😍)} .

Here goes nothing...

Well, dear reader, it's 6:21am right now and I feel grateful for being able to have had this hour to myself, and maybe for the first time in a long time, felt like myself again.

I'm glad I listened to my gut this early morning and I'm going back now to my baby a bit more whole again, even without sleep.

I will leave you with a picture of me and my partner in our last trip to Switzerland, back in January, visiting a dear friend of my partner that was very sick and died in the meantime _{(note to self - maybe a post for another day)}