Just as I was getting into the thick of Q2 planning with my supervisor today, a message flashed up through Teams that ran along the lines of:
I wanted to tell you first. My ex-employer has offered me an incredible opportunity and I have decided to take it. I will let my manager know next.
Fuck.
As it concerns our roles directly. I said to my supervisor and she buried her head in her hands.
Then another message.
I couldn't leave this hanging. April Fool's!
Asshole!
I now owe him a beer.
In another moment, I would have picked up on it, but as he caught me mid-discussion, I was distracted and didn't think it through - just "reacted" emotionally - attached. I like him (and this joke is one of the reasons why) and he has a massive amount of potential to become a top performing sales person in his region. Over the last month we have spent a lot of time together and it has been great - losing him would suck.
This is the problem with attachment.
When we get attached to something, we start to build expectations around the way we expect it to behave and its condition. It doesn't matter if it is a person, a car or a token - we want something for it - act like this, be like this, move like this. The problem is, while we can apply our expectations, we can't control everything that affects the outcomes and inevitably, we are going to be disappointed when our expectations go unmet, and rather than acknowledge it is our own doing, we blame what has "failed" in our eyes.
This happens a lot on Hive.
Pretty much everyone has their own understanding of the way things are meant to be on Hive and when they came across anything that conflicts with their projection, they see that the platform is failing. We see this often in regard to downvotes for example, where people who get downvoted are against it, when it happens to them but don't mind when it happens to others, as long as "the reason" is acceptable.
Who decides what is acceptable?
It has a simple answer. Stake. At least from the perspective of rewards. There is no "cabal" on Hive, despite what some people keep whining about - but there are people who are heavily invested and using their stake in ways that they believe benefits the platform. You can agree or disagree with how individual stakeholders use their power, but in a DPoS system, this is the way stake is used on Hive.
When it comes to the concept of censorship however, downvotes have nothing to do with it, nor do upvotes have much to do with content discovery. Sure, if a post is upvoted very highly, it is going to be seen in Trending on Hive.blog - but most people use Peakd and a feed through communities and friends. And downvotes do not stop something being committed to the blockchain and no interface has to autohide it, but people seem to think that someone can't speak if they get downvoted.
Freedom of speech is not guaranteed to come with freedom to earn on what is said. No one should expect to say whatever they want without their being repercussions of some kind, but, Hive protects people to say whatever they want. What they say is up to them, how people react is up to the people reacting. For the most part it has been: Act like a dick, get treated like a dick.
What more can a dick expect?
But, we live in a world of entitlement, where people believe that they should be able to act as they please, unhindered and without repercussion. A world of tyrants. A world where people expect everyone else to bend to their individual will and if they don't bend, it is unfair, they are attacking and bullies. People love to make themselves the victim.
It is to be expected though, as this has been encouraged by the mainstream narrative for the last few decades, where social platforms have taken the lead in idolizing the biggest victim. But, most people haven't led an overly difficult life, which means the bar for victimhood is very low indeed. A victim 80 years ago was imprisoned at Auschwitz - a victim today got teased about their weight, or the type of clothes they wear.
Is it comparable?
Yes. But it is compared based on experience and many these days haven't apparently had much experience with dealing with strong adversity. So, with a self-focused personality that isn't enjoying life experience, they look at the world and all the things that are holding them back from being the best version of themselves - it is not my fault I suck, it is because of everyone else and the conditions they place upon me.
I am powerless.
See? Our expectations apply to ourselves too, but what we expect from ourselves can be much less than what we expect from others. We excuse ourselves for our own bad behavior, but we condemn anyone who acts outside what we expect of them. It is a self-imposed lose-lose situation, a breeding ground for failure and a slippery slope spiral downward to ensure that we fail more and more, at lower and lower grade attempts. Eventually, our conditions meet our mindset - we truly are powerless, as we have become prisoners of the most oppressive dictator possible - ourselves.
Self-victimization.
Like children that don't get their own way. Instead of building better, it is throw a tantrum and cry, or sit in the corner sulking with a pouted lip. I would like to say this is said metaphorically, but it isn't, adults literally act like toddlers. And the background is generally the same as a toddler, lack of experience, inability to understand dynamics, low skill level, no emotional control.
I will let you in on a little secret. If you can't control your emotions....
They aren't yours!
But this is what expectations do. They set a precondition for a future event to feel a certain way. But, setting that expectation is already setting up for a reactionary response to alternative outcomes which is nearly always a negative, even when the outcomes is positive. People don't like surprises, they like certainty, which is why expectations are set in the first place, as if they are not, the future looks far too volatile to approach.
But, when we are attached to a particular outcome and it doesn't come to pass, due to a lack of control, our emotions boil up and over and we almost always act poorly and in ways that we wouldn't accept from others. Yet, we can justify our own behavior because, we "felt" it was the right thing to do at the time, otherwise we wouldn't have done it. Then we expect people to assume the best intentions of our actions and understand our poor form when it happens, even though we assume the worst in others, when they constantly let us down by not acting how we want them to act.
What a fantasy world we have created for ourselves.
But, in our own head, it all seems so real.
When we think it is real, it is hard to let go.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]