At the start of the year I started the Reflections Community, a place for anyone to reflect on pieces of their lives publicly, in the hope that in so doing, they will improve themselves and help others consider and possibly improve also. I has been relatively successful and those who use it regularly are hopefully seeing the benefit of diving a little deeper into their experience.
I read an interesting article written by a first-time community user that looked into Confirmation Bias from his perspective. I found myself agreeing with a lot of it, which is likely a sign of my own confirmation bias based on my own thinking. However, since I consider them one of the most rational thinkers I have met on the blockchain, I err on the side of nodding along.
In the article, he spoke of finding out about people lying, using "St Nick" as the example, preceded by;
One of the first things we all learn as a child that can be surprising is the concept that people sometimes lie. At first we trust everything we’re told (and for most of us, most of that information comes from our parents or caregivers), then we slowly learn that sometimes we are intentionally told false information.
But even more surprising, at least for me, was that a lot of people can tell the same lie and create a fictional reality. Why was that surprising? Because I observed that people typically lie for their own benefit, and most lies don’t benefit the majority of people, especially not enough that almost no one disputes the lie.
This was something that stood out to me, as while I was never lied to that Santa existed, my parents told many self-serving lies throughout my childhood. Parents will often justify various lies as "best intentions" but I think this is excuse more than reality. However, I am not going to delve into my less than ideal childhood right now and instead, I am going to give some air to some other reflections that came to mind from the post.
What is interesting is that while we often focus on the lies we are told, I wonder if they have all that much impact on us. What I mean is that when we are told a lie like the existence of Santa, as we grow, we start to question it, because our experience doesn't align with that version of reality. We start to investigate and discover all the suspensions of disbelief we have to hold, in order to keep on believing. This means that getting lied to can actually help us develop our learning skills, as well as our filters for the source.
There is a confirmation bias built into getting lied to, because whatever the lie is, it puts it into our awareness and gives as "material" to investigate. And I wonder if this draw on our attention leaves us open to a more insidious type of lie in the same way that we think that we see all of the influences built into social media interfaces that direct our behavior.
We are lying to ourselves.
However, in order to know this, we need to be aware of the potential of a lie, but if we aren't paying attention, they are easy to miss, because we want to believe they are true.
Looks don't matter.
How do you feel about that statement? True or false?
Anyone with even a hint of rational thought would obviously see this as a lie, yet will also not want to believe it to be a full lie, adding other conditions on top so as to soften the blow. Yet, looks always matter to humans, even those who are blind, because everyone wants to be with someone that they find physically attractive. It might not be the major influence, but it is always present in some form.
Size doesn't matter.
Again... it absolutely does. It might not be the only consideration or influence, but it has an impact on outcomes, so not recognizing the truth will carry a penalty of some kind. Knowing the truth however, means that risk mitigation actions can be taken, by for example, improving in other areas.
Money doesn't by happiness.
Are you sure about that? How do you know? Have you ever been destitute and happy? I haven't been and out of the people I know who are financially struggling, none of them have been happy. This doesn't mean they can't laugh or enjoy parts of their life, but their suffering seems to outweigh their joy and if they had a bit more money, they would be able to ease a lot of the burden that is holding them back, like worrying about how to fill their children's belly.
These last few statements are lies, yet many of us might want to make them truths, yet again, now that they are in our awareness, they give us a chance to investigate. It are the truths that are not volunteered into our awareness, that are the hardest ones to address, because we don't even know they are there. When we don't know of a truth that impacts on us, we become victims of circumstance. And if we never investigate why we are getting the results we are getting, we will forever be victimized and disempowered, unable to improve our conditions.
We lose agency.
When we aren't told known truths and are left to find out for ourselves, we might put ourselves in bad situations that could have been avoided. Often, the truths aren't told because the conversations are difficult to have, like how some parents and cultures avoid talking about sex, so their children end up putting themselves at unnecessary risk.
But, a lot of conversations are hard to have and unfortunately in the current global culture, a lot of the public discourse is not only avoided, it is punished. I was always told that some topics should be avoided in casual conversation, like sex, religion, politics, and money, but I disagree strongly.
It is around these very areas that keep us holding various beliefs and stigmas, yet we are encouraged not to discuss them, not to learn from others who might have a different perspective than our own, and not to give our opinion, and have it tested by the fires of opposition. Some of the best conversations I have ever had with strangers have been around these topics and as long as both parties are willing to be open to the discussion without getting emotionally unsettled, it is an absolute pleasure. It doesn't mean consensus and agreement are found on the topic, yet respect and even friendship can still be built.
These discussions might not be universal truths, but they can be personal truths and for humans, these are important. If we want to build better relationships and stronger communities, we need to be strong enough to face the discomforts and voice our truths, and brave enough to also recognize, our beliefs might be wrong.
Keep your opinions to yourself.
Not speaking might save us from ridicule and persecution, and not hearing might save us from having to face the discomfort of hearing the opinions of others, but it means that we go on living in a fantasy world, believing that because there is no explicit evidence, it doesn't exist. It is like because a person doesn't say racist things, they aren't racist. Personally, I would rather discuss openly with a racist person and get a better understanding of them, than speak to a racist person who hides their opinions away, pretending.
Do I want the truth?
Opinion is never the truth. Or at least, it isn't the full truth, because when the full truth is known, it cannot be denied. An opinion can be rationalized, but when there is unequivocal evidence telling a different result, the only rational option is to change belief. To not change, is to knowingly choose to remain wrong.
Right and wrong in the universe isn't a belief system, it is a natural law. But, right and wrong in the fantasy world(s) of humans, is based on beliefs and assumptions and as such, we will look for and favor evidence to prove what we believe correct, rather than evidence that proves us wrong. For example, it is far easier to ascribe events to the workings of a God, because it cannot be argued as it is unprovable, than to find unequivocal evidence that there is an undeniable God. Not finding evidence doesn't mean there is no God, but living as if there is a God without evidence is living in a fantasy.
We prefer the fantasy, because we aren't made to absorb reality.
Just imagine if we could experience the "full truth" of the world - what would that even look like? How much information is there in the totality of truth, and how much would our brain need to process and comprehend simultaneously? Is it possible? At what resolution is truth known? Do we need to see it with our own eyes, or do we need to understand the position, relationships and influences of every individual atom, and each component that makes them what they are?
What is the resolution of "enough truth"?
And this is the problem, because truth is, but it is so incredibly vast, that our human brains can never comprehend the endlessness of it. There are no boundaries on truth, there are just layers of understanding and I suspect that with all we know, we have only scratched the surface of the infinite.
Our brains are made to live through imperfect rules, heuristics and habits that will exclude far more information than is included. If we look at our lives as if they are a dirty window looking out into the night at rough shapes, we can make guesses at what lays beyond, but never fully see. In this perspective, life is all a lie, as is everything we say an opinion, because we just don't know all the possibilities.
However, it isn't practical to live as if there are no truths, so we have to find the truths that work for us and then continually refine pieces of them to improve our results. Some people do this to their own advantage only, but at some point, I believe that to make the most out of our lives as individuals, we need to help make the most out of the lives of all individuals. That happens through community and community happens through building relationships.
Essentially, to be human is to never completely know the truth about anything, but to continually be on the journey toward truth. And this endless journey is to discover who we are, who I is, because that reality is the only one that we can experience and if we do it honestly, we will discover that what we thought we knew yesterday, was infantile to what we know today, and recognize that there are many days ahead.
It is better to walk that journey helping and being helped by the many hands of a community, working toward a betterment for all, than alone. But ultimately,
alone is where we always are.
Is that a truth?
What do you believe?
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
