It is hard to not be cynical these days, because people's behavior has become increasingly suspect. It doesn't seem to matter in which domain, the average person has become, unreliable. And as a consequence, I trust people even less than I ever have at any other point in my life. The assumption of "best intentions" doesn't last very long these days - as there are too many indicators to the contrary.
The other thing is that there are a lot of people that seem to focus on the wrong parts of a conversation. This is either done unintentionally which indicates a lack of understanding. Or intentionally, which indicates a more sinister condition.
Today, my friend and I were talking about shame, and I was saying how we now live in a world that celebrates the shameless, as if it is a good thing. Perhaps it is because we have been conditioned to believe that the "Don't care what others think" is a valid position. It isn't necessarily bad in some contexts, but like all things, there is a spectrum and too much of a good thing can become harmful.
The shameless.
Look at the public discourse around politics now where those who are shameless are celebrated, revered, are seen as honest, because they tell exactly what they want to say - whether it is true or not. But, what does it mean to have no shame and how does it present?
Having no shame doesn't mean telling the truth, it means being able to feel no guilt in telling a lie. It takes away the peer judgement, which might be great for someone to be able to get up fearlessly and sing badly at Karaoke, but when that shamelessness is taken to an extreme, you don't want it in a partner, nor a leader. Shamelessness to the extreme exhibits very much like the traits of a psychopath.
Traits of a Psychopath
| Impulsivity | Superficial charm | Grandiosity |
| Pathological lying | Lack of empathy | Lack of guilt |
| Narcissism | Callous | Antisocial behavior |
| Machiavellianism | Shallow affect | Deceitfulness |
| Disinhibition | Boldness | Unemotional |
The more that people exhibit these kinds of behaviors, the more broken society becomes, because the trust that is required to form strong relationship bonds to collaborate and improve outcomes. And, we have been encouraging many of these traits culturally with more than just sayings to be bold.
Look at the average influencer on Instagram, where they are superficial, they lie to give an unrealistic view of themselves, they plaster images of themselves and seek attention however they can, they are shallow, have low inhibitions, impulsive and, despite the platforms they post on, antisocial. It is about them, no one else. And, because they are "influencers" these traits become revered, desired, copied.
The difference between the shameless and the psychopathic, might be in that last one, where the shameless are also shamelessly emotional - always a victim - and int he culture we have created, the victims are celebrated.
The Stoics are dead.
It wasn't that long ago that it was the person who faced their fears, who did the right thing in the face of adversity and threat, who swallowed their desires for the betterment of others - were the heroes. The MO of the hero was a survivor, someone who overcame challenge to succeed. Now, the hero is the person who has become the most self-centered, who puts themselves and their own identity above that of everyone else and if even slightly challenged, will cry victimization. The celebrated heroes are the ones who claim the largest estate in Victimland.
Parasitic Lifestyle
Psychopaths may have sob stories about why they can’t earn money, or they might often report being victimized by others. Then they take advantage of the kindness of others by depending on them financially. A psychopath uses people to get whatever they can with no regard for how the other person may feel.
Many today believe they are entitled to support, even if they do not add anything of value themselves, and even if getting that support takes away from those who are adding some value. And those who are adding value are often seen as "the privileged" as if their ability to deliver is granted them, rather than it being the outcome of practice, work and risk taking. So, the privileged are expected to support the victims and to argue otherwise, is to victim-blame.
But, what is a victim?
What is a victim when we are able to self-identify as whatever we want to? What is a victim when we can choose to be harmed by absolutely anything, regardless of the severity or impact on our lives? What is a victim when we have grown to be so weak, so thin-skinned, so fragile, that there is not an event on earth that doesn't hurt us?
Who are the monsters?
In a world where everyone is a constant victim and can be injured by any event, it means that *everyone is a monster to someone. There is no middle ground, there are no good people, because even the best of us are going to hurt the most fragile of us. And, as there is no nuance and each event is treated as an individual, every event is polarized, with no consistency between. This means that there is no considered ramifications, because they are separate events. A person can act terribly, and then call themselves a victim due to the response of others.
We all lose.
Because there are only single battles, no war. Everything is an opportunity taken to score a point against others, even if the cost of scoring is greater than the reward. But, the points don't add up to create any kind of larger purpose, it is all meaningless. Yet, it is because of this lack of purpose that people become increasingly narcissistic and self-centered, disengaging further from each other, becoming more shameless.
Becoming victimized monsters.
Justifying their bad behavior because of the way they are treated, as if the way they are treated is not at least in part, a reflection of their own behavior. And, all of this impacts on everyone else, so there is a crushing, a spiraling down, a slippery slope into the abyss of individualism.
What a shame.
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
