While I was at the gym today I was thinking of stories I would hear when I first came to Finland, about Russian tourists at the ski resorts who would come in with the newest, most expensive equipment, but could barely ski. They looked the part, but couldn't play the part.
It reminds me of how many people will look to buy clothes that are "slimming" yet how few will put in the necessary work to be slimmer. When it comes to doing the work they will justify not doing it by saying they are happy the way they are, but then go out and buy clothes with the aim to change the way their body appears. While their actions don't align with what they say they believe, they do align with human nature.
We want what we don't have.
So many people say, "I don't care what others think of me" yet I am yet to meet anyone who behaves in a way that backs it up. Even the few very twisted, highly-confident, narcissistic personality having individuals are actually very insecure, and care the most about what others think. Yet, we also know that it is a losing game, because it is just impossible to please everybody, or anybody for that matter. At least not consistently forever. And we definitely can't be happy with ourselves consistently, without warping our ego into something that controls us completely.
There are many delusional people.
Confidence is attractive. Overconfidence is not.
But attraction is personal, so at least to me that is the case. It is also the case that I am more attracted to people who look like they try to take care of themselves, than those who buy clothes and makeup and whatever else to play the part of someone trying to look after themselves.
Looks don't matter, right?
Of course they do. But looks alone are pretty meaningless, like the cover of a book. A well-cut dress or the direction of stripes can make a difference to the way a body looks, but it is much harder to fake muscle definition, posture, or that twinkle in the eye whilst smiling. All these people saying, "I'm happy with myself" yet they do not smile, and they have an expression of jealousy when they look at someone who has the type of body they would prefer for themselves.
It is some kind of mental illness perhaps.
We should be happy with ourselves, but I do not believe we should ever settle for not being able to improve ourselves in some way. And not just physically, but in all the aspects that are important to us. I believe that all humans should have a continuous improvement mentality, that will find what is important to the individual, and work at improving it. However, what is important often requires supporting actions also, so it becomes like cross-training for a particular sport, to improve the condition of the body to better be able to focus on the skills of the sport.
We can't improve across every aspect, but this doesn't mean we should ignore key aspects of our wellbeing, just because we want to spend more time on what we like to do. Because eventually, the imbalance leads to what is liked being negatively affected too. It is a bit like liking to drive a car, but hating to fill it with fuel. You can drive, but soon enough the fuel runs out and the driving has to stop also.
Even if you hate it. Fill the tank.
We have so many ways to avoid doing the unwanted tasks, but it is usually the doing of the unwanted tasks that give us the ability to do more of the wanted parts. Eating healthy sucks in many ways, but feeling unhealthy sucks even more. Exercising is terrible for many people, but being severely limited by physical ability is even worse.
We want what we don't have, but don't do what we need to do to have it.
Most of us are playing the part of the incapable.
Taraz
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