For the first time since we have been together, I didn't get my wife anything for her birthday - and it feels very weird. Normally, I have got her something decent, but this year decided that other than what Smallsteps will get her, we will go to a nice dinner just the three of us, and that is about it. Smallsteps and I also made a nice breakfast in the morning too.
It was this time of year that my wife and I took our first trip together, our or five days in Barcelona, which was a pretty amazing city. I didn't get much for her birthday then either, but what I did have made was an engraved padlock, which we locked into a very awkward and out of sight location, right in the middle of Plaça de Catalunya, the city square. It was a few years later that a friend of mine happened to be there and I asked him to check - and it was still there - a little rusty.
We used to travel a lot, but haven't travelled since before our daughter was born, because since, it just hasn't been possible for a myriad reasons. The plan is though, is that while we haven't planned anything yet for summer, we are going to do some rush trip, where we find some random deal with a few days notice, and take it. For me, it doesn't matter where we go, though my wife wants a beach holiday. That might be nice, but I also reckon it would be great just to get Smallsteps on a plane for the first time and go anywhere. If the hotel has a pool, that'll be enough for her.
This is actually part of the reason that I didn't get her anything too, because I'd rather spend the money on something a bit more memorable, and something we can actually do together. And, next week we booked a night at a spa center (pretty much an indoor pool) in another city, just to get away. The year has been pretty busy and disjointed for us both so far and each day away is valuable.
It is a long weekend here too, because Monday is "Vappu", which is an old traditional day to welcome in the spring. It is also the day that I proposed to my wife and she luckily (for me) said yes. So, even though the weather is very cool, we will go into the city, buy a helium-filled balloon for Smallsteps, and some fairy floss (cotton candy) in the town square, as we did all those years ago.
When I proposed, my wife had a large amount of cotton candy, so she was confused and on a sugar high, which lowered her standards.
Birthdays... we are getting old though now, and I know that we aren't that old, but it is starting to be seen in more than our faces. Aging sucks and my advice to everyone is to look after your bodies, because they don't "spring back" in the same way they did in the twenties and thirties and it only gets worse. Granted, I have likely had a bit of a bad start to my forties, but I definitely feel the difference.
My wife hasn't fully realized how fast the downhill gets yet, but she will.
We are definitely no spring chickens anymore and are both feeling the effects of aging on our bodies, but with that, comes more of an appreciation for other parts of our life. Some people start to value their free time more and want to work less, I value it more and want to work more - just more of the things that I find valuable. It will happen in time, but for now, that salaried work schedule still has to be met and, care has to be taken with our financial position.
One day, I hope less care can be taken.
I think we will always be relatively careful, but I also think that if we were able to knock out our debt, we would be the kinds of people to be occasionally frivolous, splurging on a trip or something we want. At the moment, most of our "ants" center around home improvement activities, but we are at a stage where there are some very large things to do to the outside, that are going to take lumpsums to start. If we are ever to do them, we can't just trickle our disposable incomes away.
But, there is a funny thing with this, as while my wife wants these things done, I also know that she would appreciate some kind of gift too, but I didn't get her one. She knows why, but I sense she is disappointed. I am okay with this, because I am also the kind of person who will get her a gift at any time if I see something I believe she will like and surprise her. This gets forgotten at birthdays though - it is just the way our conditioning works - as we have been taught that particular days are ore special than others, whether it is true or not.
For now though, today is a special day, not because of the birthday, but because we are going to have a nice dinner together in a nice enough restaurant as a family. That is something we all appreciate.
And I am running late to get ready!
Taraz
[ Gen1: Hive ]
