This healthy eating lifestyle is not for everybody. Not at all. Some of us are built for ancestral foods, because those are the ones that let us function at our peak performance.
I made one very big mistake yesterday which would have un-alived me. I went and had fruit salad for dinner yesterday. Something I had never done before but thought to try since there's no harm in trying plus staying fit, alright?
And just about an hour before midnight, I started to feel the harm in my trying. The rumbling in my stomach was far away from being royal.
Hunger sat me down, face to face, and told me "you, I will deal with you today. I’m like a joke to you, bah? You’ve not seen nothing yet, Bruv."
Coincidentally, I’ve never had an empty kitchen as was the case yesterday. I went into the kitchen, the pots and pans were shiny. I opened up my fridge and found water and the fridge-compartments sitting all pretty, looking prim and proper. Gosh! I was almost going mad. The state of my stomach was affecting my brain already; my hands were shaking, my legs were wobbly.
I could see hunger, sitting in a corner of my room, looking at me like, 'Did I not tell you?, It's only just the beginning'.
I opened my phone and made to while away time. When i opened up Facebook, the first thing I saw was a rich-looking plate of Native soup. I scrolled past quickly. But, just like the universe was conniving against me, I kept seeing posts upon posts of food.
I was salivating so bad.
The rumble in my stomach had escalated to a turbulence by then. I dumped my phone before I'd eat it or smash it.
Being a single guy, I mostly bought takeouts, some foodstuff and snacks but, I had run out of those too.
When I checked, even the assistant savior, after our personal Lord and savior, Jesus, which is Garri(cassava flakes), i did not have. At that point I knew it would be a very long night.
There was no question that I did not ask myself last night.
At that point too, It also became clear that, nocturnal and fitfam should never be in the same sentence. The hunger that comes at those ungodly hours is not defeated by flesh and blood.
Because, explain why, one minute you're sitting pretty with your temporary flat stomach, drinking agbo(herbs) mixed with pawpaw leaves, lime, and cucumber; The next minute, are you in the kitchen turning eba that you'd use to eat soup with leftover meats from stew.
Me, I was unfortunately unfortunate last night. I had neither of those. Okay, maybe I have small flats stomach what use is an empty flat stomach? Is not big tummy a sign of healthy living, again?
I could not sit, stand or lie properly. The linen of my stomach was undergoing destruction. I stepped out of my house to see if I can greet any of my neighbors -you know what I mean- no one was outside. I opened the compound gate and relief washed over me, when I saw the woman frying akara and yam was still open.
I half-ran to her spot and bought everything she had left. It was almost funny. Immediately the first akara(bean cake) ball touched my tongue, I almost broke down in tears. Jeez! Food good o.
That was my saving grace yesterday, if not, you might probably be reading that, I was checked in a hospital this morning, where they are trying to revive my immune system with four wraps of fufu and bitterleaf soup with plenty obstacles.
SMH!
To Mr Hunger, (no. It has to be a female). Whichever. Anyway, to Mr/Mrs Hunger, you do this one. You win this round. Never again!
I hope this made you laugh.
Thanks for stopping by.