... once this one thing is accomplished.
(This is going to be a more personal post with a bit rambling, just to warn you)
I struggle to enjoy my accomplishments, and I'm sure I'm not the only one with that problem.
There's always the next big thing that's supposed to make everything great, supposed to make us happy. But then it's the current big thing, and only moments later, it becomes the past big thing, making room for the new next big thing.
The next big thing is usually the driving force behind everything I do.
Graduate high school with a GPA good enough to study what I want. Finish my exams. Finish my thesis. Receive my bachelor's degree. Be accepted to my next University of choice. Find a place to live that I like.
The place to live, that's my current next big thing and I can already see the things that follow: Move to the new place, finish my master's degree, get the PhD spot I want, finish the PhD, find a job I like ...
Will I be happy then?
The thing is ... I don't think I will. Not until I learn to be happy about the now instead of worrying about the next.
When I received the message that I had been accepted for my master's program, I nearly ruptured 
... for an empty feeling.
I felt like I was supposed to be more excited, but every time I grasped for that happiness, anxiety pushed it down.
You're not in Ireland yet.
There are more things that need to be done.
You need to move again.
Especially the last point fills me with fear, as moving is something I dread. I like a certain stability in my life.
But there we have it: I got the great news I had been anticipating for months and I just wasn't able to feel happy about it.
That's still the case.
I feel like I should be happy, feel like people expect it from me. Maybe they do, maybe they don't. Maybe some are angry that I'm whining like this despite obviously being successful.
More than one person told me that they're amazed by how well I have my life together - at 22 no less!
I will work on appreciating what I have right now, but it won't be easy and it won't be fast. Unlearning things you've been doing your whole life is a daunting task, but nothing will improve if I don't at least try.
And maybe it's something we all need to learn: Cherish what there is now. It doesn't mean we're settling for it, we can still shoot for the stars while being content with the ground we already have.
