Good morning! Just a few more and I will be done with the blogging challenge initiated by @tegoshei, Let's Do A 30-Day Blogging Challenge!!!.

I am glad to have come across tegoshei's challenge and I have no regrets. Meanwhile, the 23rd blogging challenge is to write about your biggest regret. So here it goes.

WHAT IF...

Image source: Pixabay

We all have something we regret. If you are someone who has no regrets, may I ask if you are a human? Lol. Kidding!

I am someone with tons of regrets. I tend to be shy of taking chances or accepting blessings, always thinking of how it will affect the people involved, but often it's my anxious mind that's behind it. They said there's no point looking in the past and we must move on instead. But you know, that's very easy to say but very difficult to do. There's still a portion in my heart filled with regrets. Two of what greatly occupies it were these questions:

What if I've been more friendly and true with my emotions?
What if I insisted on taking a course that I am truly interested in?

I dislike the feeling of being so vulnerable and open to people so I filter what about me must only be known to them. Some tell I am snobbish or mysterious. Even my friends tell me I'm mysterious. Lol. Right now, I only have very few people I talk to. A few friends, family, and some acquaintances. I've been so private in the past years that most people got used to it, and now they left. Maybe if I was more friendly back then and sharing what I truly feel could've preserved connections. It's sad to know people forget you, you know, even those people you were close with in the past. However, I am still thankful despite what happened because it revealed who truly cared for me. I knew those who would stay beside me no matter who I become.

Second biggest regret is taking a course I didn't like at all. I know I am not the only one with this regret. I am someone who is motivated by something that interests me while on the other hand, greatly fail on something I am not interested with. I remember telling my parents that I would want to shift to another course after taking two semesters but I was told to continue. After the third semester, I cried and begged but again, I am told to finish it. They said the course I wanted to take isn't fit for me, my personality in particular, because I'm a shy person. Wow, even writing this makes me teary. Let me clear my eyes for a second. Lol. I can't do anything back then because they are the ones sending me to school. Maybe another reason was the money because they have already invested money for three semesters and shifting will cost more expenses. Or maybe shifting gives a negative image to a person because it will make you look indecisive. And so I did what I can, passed the subjects and graduated, but nothing much retained from the lessons that were taught. The only thing that kept me sane in college were my friends.

I also remember taking and passing the entrance exam of a known university in Baguio (because they do not recommend me to study in Manila) but I was again discouraged. It disheartened me and so I gave up my goal and got enrolled to a course I have no idea about at all. I wonder what my life would be right now if I stood up with my choices back then. But life goes on even though it's something that I deeply regret. However, I no longer have the energy to pursue that goal today so I left that goal in the past. My interests have changed and that's what I will try to achieve someday. :)

Well, I still thank the bad choices and things that didn't work out. It's part of life and maybe there's something better that's meant for me and better people to meet in the future. I know these regrets are simple and might be nothing against others' regrets but we have different stories and experiences and feelings. That's all. Sorry, if this post gives off negative vibes. Anyway, thanks for reading. >.<

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Blogging Challenge Day 23: BIGGEST REGRET | Ecency