Huhm, I love this week's topic.
And while thinking about which to go for, I decided to settle for this because I've indeed been disappointed in myself before and that moment is one that still lives inside my head.
A few years as go I was sick, it was not the usual get well fast kind of illness. It was the type that kept me for years, juggling from theater rooms to labs, to test rooms and all. In short, for me to really get better then a lot need to be spent.
The day they were trying to calculate the bills, I just sat there looking. I could tell from my dad and Mom's face that they don't know what to do. I know they don't have such an amount, at that moment I felt disappointed, not because I was sick but because I'm helpless.
The bill they calculated wasn't even the overall, it was just based on what feel I might need, things might go away(which later happened), and I will need to spend even more(which we later did).
I was disappointed in myself, at that age form my own calculations and all from the beginning, I felt I would have been helping my parents already and wouldn't even need much of their support. I didn't plan that they would be the one taking care of me at a time like this, I was supposed to be someone they can lean in, but here I am, becoming the weight they have to carry.
And I couldn't stop asking myself why my parents and siblings have to go through all of that, why should it be me, I guess the disappointment was much because there was absolutely nothing I could do to change the situation. I don't have anymore kept somewhere, I don't have anything they could sell off, and I can't take this illness away.
It was that particular experience of mine that made me understand what family is even more, it made me know what sacrifice really is, and it made me see what True love feels like. So, any time I'm being Dave with a challenge and life becomes difficult and unbearable, I tend to go back in time to that period, I remember the people who never gave up on me, and I smile.
That was my biggest disappointment, but then it became the stepping stone to building a life that makes every sacrifice and love worth it.
馃尮
Images are mine.
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