As most of us are having weekend, so I was busy doing my usual chores. I came back to my flat after two-months break, so it really needed some cleaning, which I did. After two-three hours long hustle, I went for brunch, and the first news I read was:
The death of a family in Maharashtra's Chhatrapati Sambhajinagar following a row over a mobile phone has left the city in shock. - Hindustan Times.
Thanks to the forced hatred between two nations, I had to use VPN to go in depth about the detail. Even after that my network goes limited after 5-10 minutes :(
Story
The story is of a young boy - 19 years of age - who wished for an iPhone. After a heated argument with his parents, he went to the hill, followed by his parent. As they tried to persuade him, many others including Sarpanch (leader of the village), police, fire brigade, rescue etc, gathered around. The Sarpanch, along with his parent and others, tried for three-hours to persuade him.
The Sarpanch said, "Ae bhai, main gaon ka sarpanch hoon. Chal! Jo chahiye wo laakar denge. Gaon mein chal. (Hey, I am the village sarpanch. Come on! We will get you whatever you want. Let us return to the village.)" He further said, "Tumhare koodne se kiska... kya bahut bada naam hone wala hai tumhara? Maa ke liye jee lo na! (What will be achieved by jumping? Please, live for your mother's sake!)"
The boy did not care about it, and said: "No, I have to die. That remains the only way."
His father tried to get near him, and almost catched him, but they both fell. Watching her husband and son falling, the mother also jumped. A tragic end of the story.
Now I have some serious concerns about this tragic news. Like what are the factors involved behind this happening? Is that phone the only reason behind this incident, or is it a more complex and interconnected incident? And whom to blame?
Yes, at the surface level, iPhone can be a trigger. But is it the whole story?
Wanting an expensive phone at the age of 19 is not something so unsual. Young people want things, as it is the demand of such age. And, in this region, separating from parents by the age of 18 is not a must thing. Rather the family structure is different. So, even at such age, demand is from parents mostly.
Back to the point, young people want things, because we live in a world of "materialism." They compare themselves with others, they want to fit in, and sometimes, a particular object like iPhone in our case becomes a trend. So, it does not remain as a mere object anymore. An iPhone is a symbol of status, independence, eliteness or simply the feeling that "they have it, so I should too." The same concept was expressed by Karl Marx, as he argued under capitalism that commodities can acquire a value beyond their practical use, becoming connected with social relations, status and identity. iPhone itself is not the problem, rather it is the system which is failing us.
But still, I find it hard to believe that an argument over a phone should reach such an extreme.
What if there were emotional issues, family tensions, impulsiveness, frustration? What if it was the inability to deal with rejection and disappointment? We do not not what was happening inside that brain, and it is unfair to reduce everything to "he was spoiled because he wanted an iPhone."
And this is where we really need to talk about something considered a taboo: psychological well-being
We are living in 21st century, and as per Doraemon, we are going to have unimaginable gadgets by the next century. But, here we are still thinking of psychological issue as a threat to our "ego." And believe me, every one of - especially people of South Asia - share this burden. Like "an apple a day keeps the doctor away." What about a psychatrist? Maybe an honest conversation a day can keep a psychological crisis away.
We are very comfortable about physical health. But as soon as we start to talk about mental health, the situation changes. What do we hear: "it is just a phase," "be strong," "stop overthinking," or "time for the marriage." Or sometimes, the person is simply told to pray more, forget about it or get over it. Cool isn't it? It was a piece of cake.
Unfortunately, parents also share a great responsibility in it. I know, it is unfair to accuse them of such henious act. I get it that they were brought up differently, and they are finding it hard to deal with the GenZ things. For them, saying "no" simply means no. They may have reasons, which are holistically reasonable. But how about some discussions about feelings, boundaries, emotional validation or mental well-being? It is easy to blame the system or society for such things, but the shyness at home demands better care.
The falsity behind social media
Though this part also revolves around materialism, but nowadays with the advancement, everyone is hiding behind a filter. At the surface level, everyone is living a rich and successful life. However, life is not the way it is represented on social media by so-called influencers. No offense to anyone, I just have a certain bias towards these people who create falsehood.
In the end, we cannot get back those who have gone. Whether we have 1 or 7 lives ahead, or hell or heaven concept, those who are gone are at least gone for this life. And I still do not know, whom should we blame? The phone? The society? Materialism? The parents? Psychological neglect? Perhaps there is no single answer for it. Human behavior is indeed far more complicated than simple yes or no concept.
We, people of Desi households, really need better conversations at home, more awareness about psychological struggles, and maybe, a little less comparison with artifical lives we see on social media. An iPhone can be replaced; but a human life cannot.
After all that, one sentence is still echoing in my mind: "Maa ke liye jee lo na." (Live, for your mother.) Oh dear boy, what have you done.
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Peace 🕊️
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Hey human, if you are going through a difficult time. Discuss it! It is not a shameful/sinful act, be open about it. Do not care about what other think. And if you wish, I am here leave a message, I will surely be listening and responding. And if you know someone with such problems, listen to them and give them a warm hug. Life is indeed chaotic. But it is beautiful. So, let us try to stay a little longer and see what tomorrow brings.
