The squirrels are back with some criminal activity for #squirrelsunday
Here's El Chipo fully incarcerated in a high security compound for crimes against rodentity. He finally got caught shipping out acorns laced with fentanyl and was ratted out by a literal rat who embedded himself in his drug empire.
High up in a tree outside the compound one of his cartel members is scoping out escape routes. Hey El Chip come up to the edge of the prison walls and I'll tell you the escape plan.
Using tail waving semaphore the escape plan is communicated. First El Chipo will have to escape through a hole that is dug out by the prison fence. Once out he'll need to dye his hair orange to look like a fox squirrel to fool the aerial guards and undercover police outside.
Squeeek and he's out. A couple hawk guards had to be bribed to look the other way but now the infamous El Chipo has escaped a maximum security prison and no one seems to know how.
The hawk warden is looking as hard as he can for a gray fox squirrel on the loose but he can't see one anywhere...
The SBI (sparrow bureau of instigation) has been notified to check the sit rep closer down on the ground... Fortunately these SBI's aren't the smartest birds in the forest and mostly focus on taking bribes from powerful crime syndicates.
Meanwhile El Chipo has successfully dyed his hair orange to fool the SBI agents and the hawk warden. Now El Chip just has to dip, dodge and dive his way to the border.
Ahhh sweet freedom, El Chipo just has take a couple more leaps to get into Squexico where there are no extradition treaties.
Life is easy when you've bribed everyone. You can escape from virtually anywhere and do whatever you want. The only thing you really have to worry about are rival cartels and gang members... Let's hope they don't hire an owl assassin to take over El Chipo's territory.
Now where was I with that fentanyl laced acorn shipment... Maybe El Chipo will branch out to even more brutal drugged acorns like gasoline soaked krokodil walnuts. We'll see if any unbribable hawks exist to bring justice to this criminal...
That's all for now, more squirrel mayhem next Sunday...