The following story is for a writing prompt contest by 
It has been two sad, long and excruciating years since I lost my partner in a car accident- one that left me emotionally broken and physically crippled. For 2 months after that, I stayed in a hospital and wasn’t able to fathom the physical pain I had received because I was too occupied with the emotional one even still.
We were going to marry. Yes, I was going to get married to the love of my life in 3 days and just then the accident happened. We were so elated at the day of the accident. We had finally reviewed all the preparations for the big day and as planned, we had everything under control. Having a little tendency for perfectionism, both Jason and I made sure we didn’t leave out any minute detail so we didn’t go through massive panic attacks in the last minute. So that day, when we checked all our preps, we took a breath of sigh and were happy that things were going as planned.
After visiting our caterer, we decided to go for a relaxing lunch at our favorite bistro. We were on the highway at a moderate pace when suddenly all hell broke loose on us. A huge truck came with massive force and banged with our car. I remember our car rolling over and Jason holding my hand all the time. I can still hear his voice ring in my ears: ‘It is all going to be fine baby, just stay calm.’ I don’t know how he managed to say that even when it was clear that we were going to die. I don’t remember what happened after that because when I opened my eyes next, I was in a hospital bed with bruises all over my body and my lower body covered in plasters.
I could see my sister and Jason’s aunt and brother next to me- they were our only family and people who meant the world to us. They were all crying. When they saw me open my eyes- they reached out to caress me but I didn’t really care about them that instant. ‘Where’s Jason? How’s he? He is alright, isn’t he?’ That was all I cared about right now- Jason. None of them uttered a word but kept crying- their cries getting slightly louder with each passing moment. I knew what their moans meant but was too scared to say it loud and then a nurse nearby confirmed my suspicion. Jason was no more.
I felt my whole world crushing upon me. My light, my life, my sunshine in a dark storm- everything had left me. It was all in one person- my person and with him gone, I felt I had no purpose left in life. For 2 whole months, this was all I could think about. Nothing else. No positive thoughts, no smile, no happy ideas- nothing.
After two months, the doctors told me I was now in better health and if I tried, I could even walk. They didn’t see any reason in keeping me on the bed anymore so discharged me. My sister took me home and encouraged me to try taking baby steps each day. But the thing was, I really didn’t want to walk. I didn’t want to stand up, do my work, talk to people or do anything at all. I just wanted to lie down all day, think about Jason and eventually die one day like that. I had become really depressed and might have stayed that day for good had it not been for the dream I saw one day.
I saw Jason flying high in the sky in my dream. He seemed happy and free, but his expression changed when he saw me flying nearby too. The more I steered toward him, the farther he moved away. I shouted, ‘Why are you doing this? I want to be closer to you!’ He then came nearer to me, hugged me and slowly we both stepped down. ‘Now is not the time baby. We will be together forever, but not right now. I want you to live, live for the both of us.’
I instantly woke up gasping and crying out his name. The dream felt so real I could honestly feel Jason’s presence. It took me a while to decode the dream- Jason was trying to reach out to me and did not want me to give up on myself and life so fast. It was at that moment that I decided to give things one more try and come back to my life.
The journey from despair to hope, from sheer darkness to pure light, from what was lost to what I had, from being dissatisfied to being content, from focusing on what was absent to being more aware of what was present, from the never-ending melancholy to the newfound joy wasn’t an easy one. There were days when I lost all hope, when I felt I could do it no more and when I wanted to die again, but each time that happened, I just thought about that dream and it gave me the strength, hope, power and optimism I needed to fight this battle.
The biggest battle was with my own thoughts. For 2 long months I had fed so much negativity to myself that my mind was oversaturated with pessimism. To return to a happy life again, I had to battle this pessimistic mindset which wasn’t easy at all, but nonetheless doable. As I slowly conquered my mind, I began attending physiotherapy sessions. It took me a month to regain the strength in my legs and the confidence I needed to walk and then I began walking with crutches.
I have made some amazing performance over the past one and a half month. Things haven’t been easy, but who says life is easy. If I can survive parting with my love, I can now survive anything else. For the past 2 weeks, I have been coming to this place where you now see my crutches. Jason and I often used to come here for our morning walks and now that I was feeling much better, I felt like visiting this place again. It brings back some really fond memories and since it was special to us so today I decide to make the big move here.
Today, I feel I can walk on my own and can fully embrace life once more. Today, I am positive that I can be happy on my own and even find love again. Today, I feel blessed to be alive and this realization was only possible because of Jason. I slowly drop one crutch to see if I can stand without it. Yes, I am able to do it so I let go of another one too. I stumble a little but regain balance and then slowly start walking on my own. Good bye to you my crutches- you were nice to me but now I know I can manage on my own.
Hop you enjoyed. Do share your views in the comments below.
Love and light,
Sharoon
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