Too many stimuli, I can hardly put any thoughts together.
I feel as if all the mysteries of my history have unraveled in front of me over the past week but I hardly have the brains left to make sense of it all.
How much of my attention do I owe?
Well, I owe none but that doesn’t mean I could get always get away with giving what I felt ok giving.
Family and friends feel entitled. They don’t think they need to ask. In the world they grew up in everyone felt privy to the rhythm and inner workings of the ones they loved.
Everyone thought that everyone wanted the same things as them; that we needed the same things as them.
It still echoes.
How is that working out?
Did you manage to hide from your pain, behind the noise of conversation, drowning
your own heart in the clashing of vibrations? Did you learn to belong to something that welcomed one half of you and not the other? Did us vs. them end victoriously?
We all deserve our own sovereignty, and that means sovereignty of mind. It doesn’t mean we can’t belong to a culture, but that culture must be a choice, not a given.
I can see now how the noise that drowned out my own voice, all the conflicting thoughts that distracted me from my own path, none of it was me. None of it came from me.
It was the voices of others, desires of others, fear of others. None of it was mine. None of it.
I don’t have the right to try and change you, nor would I even be able to if I tried. But I know what I came here for now and nothing is going to distract me from that ever again.
Get on board or get out of the way 🙏
