There was a season where i exhausted myself explaining. Explaining my choices, my silence, my reasons for stepping back from things, my reasons for the way i lived. As if enough explanation would eventually make everyone nod and agree that i was making sense.
Some people understood. Most did not. And the ones who did not understand rarely changed their minds no matter how carefully i laid things out for them.
It took me a long time to realise that not being understood is not always a sign you did something wrong. Sometimes it just means someone is looking at your life through their own experience, their own fears, their own limitations, and what makes sense to you will simply never compute the same way for them. No amount of explaining changes that. You cannot hand someone a perspective they are not ready to hold.
So i stopped.
Not out of bitterness. Just out of exhaustion that eventually turned into clarity. I stopped needing the people who would never get it to suddenly get it. Stopped rehearsing justifications in my head for decisions that were never theirs to approve in the first place.
And something strange happened. My life got quieter. Not lonelier. Quieter. There was less noise because i was no longer performing my choices for an audience that was never going to clap regardless of what i did.
I still explain myself to the people who matter. The ones close enough that context actually helps them support me better. That is different. That is connection, not performance.
But the general need to be understood by everyone, including people whose opinion should have very little weight in my life, that need had to die for me to actually feel free in my own decisions.
You will meet people who never get it. Who think you are doing life wrong simply because you are not doing it their way. Let them think that. You do not owe the world a translation of your life that satisfies everyone watching.
Live it. Let the results speak quietly over time.
Some people will understand eventually. Some never will. Either way it was never actually about them.
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