Does that question make you uncomfortable? It would certainly make my mother uncomfortable. It might make some people in our hometown uncomfortable. I want to invite people speak their mind though, especially if we can be friendly and respectful while doing it.
After some recent posts that mentioned some lifestyle habits, including how often I eat out and my flexible work schedule, and thinking about the economic reality of certain places, I have to step back and wonder how I come across to people in very different situations.
Some people are out there working 6 or 7 days a week 10+ hours and taking care of families. Some barely earn enough to survive without help from Hive. Some are working for prestigious companies or work for themselves with strict work schedules. At the same time some are smoking weed and playing video games all day.
I don’t judge any of those lifestyle but if we are gonna go deep with cross culture, we’d be ignoring a whole lot if we didn’t recognize the fact that many of us live very different realities from each other.
Having a really diverse set of friends and wandering around villages and cities, living in a $80 apartment for 2 years and also spending a few weeks in a multimillion dollar mansion, I’ve peeked into a lot of different lives.
Regardless of the conditions, most people consider themselves normal.. They compare themselves to the people they are surrounded by or the people they talk to. Because status is such a strong force in society, people feel shame or jealousy if they have less than others. If they have more they either feel superior or they feel pity towards others. This definitely makes some topics are so awkward to talk about.
I don’t exactly want to talk about the specifics of my economic situation with everyone I associate with, but I also do not want to ignore the reality that our economic situation can influence our lifestyle, and not only that, economics can influence the culture of the entire city or country we live in. There have to be ways of talking about such realities while still treating each other as equals.
I don’t care if you live on the street or if you live in a beautiful mansion. Your opinion is equally valid to me and I’m curious about how you really feel. I don’t care if you hold a grudge against my home country because it flaunts some of the biggest houses and most widespread luxury (not to mention the richest rich people), sometimes at the expense of your own country and it’s people. I get it. It doesn't have to be a zero-sum game, but in a lot of situations, it has been played as one.
I look at values and consistency of character first and foremost. Status means very little to me. People can look down on me for what I don't have or be jealous of me for what I do, it doesn't change I see myself, and I'm curious about everyone's true feelings. All people who can show respect towards others have perspectives worth learning from. Even those who don’t respect others are worth considering. I would like to reserve as much judgement as possible while still pursuing my values and my dreams.
That’s why I try to be ultra sensitive towards my own biases and the way my experiences paint the way I see the world. After experiencing parts of life through the eyes of both the economic top 20% and the economic bottom 20%, I sometimes se a few of my habits as being rich kid habits.. You may feel the same or you may feel differently.
Here is an example. I don’t really cook and yet I still insist on eating healthy. That’s why I eat out so often, and not at fast food restaurants. I spend a lot of money on food, definitely more the average person in Tokyo.
That’s funny though cause it gives a really skewed image of my overall lifestyle. My income is currently well below average (though I predict that will change in the next year). The amount of money I spent on THINGS is far less than almost anyone in Tokyo and even less than people in much less expensive cities. I rarely buy clothing and electronics. My phone and computer were both given to me as gifts from friends (not family) and both previously used by the people who gave them to me. Both are over 5 years old. I mostly play PS3 because the games costs $3 used, as opposed to $70 new games on PS4 and PS5. My PS3 was a gift too.
I’m not defending my desire to eat well or showing off the fact that I don't shop. I will probably always eat like this, so long as there are affordable and healthy restaurants around me. I have no problem spending more on food than other things if the quality is good.
I also go to cafes often. I'm able to because I don’t have any common addictions like alcohol, cigarettes, weed etc. I’ve even gotten over my sugar addiction to some extent.
I compare this with some friends in other parts of the world who said they don’t go outside because it’s too dangerous the way the economy currently is, or because the only places to eat out are extremely fancy and not for regular working people. Frequenting cafes is even considered a bit flagrant in my well-off hometown because the area is so suburban and family oriented, there just aren’t as many places to hang out and so going out is seen as something kids do.
The other “rich kid habit” I feel that I have is that I don’t feel much of a strong sense of responsibility towards family and societal norms. This may be more of an aspect of American or Western culture than it is about any economic situation by most accounts. We do have a kind of rugged individualism. But I have some friends who earn money with their parents in mind because their parents don’t have the means to take care of themselves, they have to worry about fitting in to society more because they don't know if they'll be able to leave their current situation. I have to admit that I have more freedom here.
Luckily my parents can receive some kind of social security from all the years they paid it although it won’t be enough for anything beyond basic needs. So I guess we are better off than many, but not as well off than many others, since we are not able to take care of each other as some more wealthy families could. I honestly think they should work as long as they live though, because they don't have anything else they are into. If they stop working they will lose all their sense of purpose and get sick, I am sure of that. They don’t have enough desire to explore or try new things, and I know how that goes.
As for kids, my reasoning for not having kids is that I don’t feel that I’ve become fully realized as a person yet. I am still struggling to support myself so why should I bring new humans into the mix. I know some people see it as virtuous to sacrifice for their children, but seeing what that did for my parents, I chose to opt out of it. Some people (including my parents 5 years ago) thought of my lifestyle as selfish and irresponsible. When they finally realized how much the world has changed though, they started to change their minds. It was definitely easier for them to reach economic stability when they were young than it is now in America.
I know many people who don’t have the option to see things this way though. In some countries, most parents still have to rely on their children to take care of them when they are old because there is no such thing as welfare and their parents don't have much savings. I'm sure there are some people reading this who can relate. For that reason, this sometimes makes me feel like a “spoiled rich kid”. I feel grateful though, rather than guilty.
The last way I feel like a spoiled rich kid is the way I talk about money and opportunity. I don’t really say it anymore but for example, “I don’t care much about money” is something that one can only say when they are sure they have enough to eat, unless they’ve escaped society to the point that they don’t need money to feed themselves. I have also turned down really good work because it wasn't what I wanted to do, and I know there are many people who don't have such options.
Such is life.
I don’t actually think I am a spoiled rich kid, nor do I think that most of our economic realities will remain in the same rigid categories that they’ve always been. As the world economy melts into one, those from poorer countries will find themselves much better off than those in rich countries because their living cost will take a while to catch up even as their salaries improve. I can already start to see it. Chances are that your payout goes much further than mine.
The only reason I wrote this is to acknowledge the complexity of economics and lifestyle and to see if anyone was interested in sharing some opinions on the matter. Feel free to get real with me, I can handle it 😉
🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎🌎
My music:
My lazy vlogs:
my mini-novella series:
Confessions of the Damaged - Out Now!
🎬Self Help For Trolls
🎸I + Everything
📕 Confessions of the Damaged OUT NOW :-)
Come join Hive Cross Culture and Join our discord
Please consider delegating to 
🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱🌱