I’d just set the intention for the year, stepping into the spotlight and buildng a face to face community. As soon as I did life slapped me on the face with a message.
It was something I would need to decode and I am not ready to go into the particulars of the message and how I recieved it, but I am starting to make sense of it.
I guess there is a third theme for the year and this one seems to be the most important. It is centered around Slowing down and learning Silence
No matter how powerful a message you have, no matter how much confidence you have, and no matter how much support you have, if you don’t let your words breath, they carry only a fraction of the weight that they should.
I want to make a concious effort to slow down when I speak and never to rush myself. I want to cut out the fluff in my conversations. The fluff in my case is not meaningless chat, but its things I don’t need to talk about. It’s trying to fill the silence in order to avoid awkwardness and make people feel comfortable.
But maybe not everyone needs to feel comfrotable with me. Maybe my job is to keep people on their toes a little, or maybe it’s to reflect to them their own anxiety and discomfort with my stillness.
That’s not to say that I will go out of my way to make people uncomfortable, but I will create space so that people are forced to acknowledge the moment rather than stay in the past and the future by filling up every second to the brim so there is no room for the present.
If there is one tangible thing I want to eliminate from my conversation it’s negative statements. It doesn’t matter if they are true. It doesn’t matter if they are insightful. My job is not to educate people on the struggles they or others may face, it’s to burn though all th baggage and get to the fire of the soul.
I know that from a strategic perspective creating space and gravity is not a bad idea but this decision has nothing to do with strategy. Therefore I will likely benefit from this change but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about embodying my role as a bridgebuilder, a healer, an artist, a fire starter among other things.
I didn’t really want to write about this but I decided I needed to formulate it in words and create some accountability by having it to come back and reference later.
I suppose the two other themes for the year will come to fruition due to this transformation. They’ve almost lined themselves up straight for me to knock down one after the other.
It will be a very interesting year.
🔥
I+Everything
Song for a 40 hour train ride. - DIY music short film
I + Everything Live - Water and Air
