Faith

"Do you have faith?"
The boy looked at the healer in confusion.
"Does one really need to have faith for you to work? Can't you just work and let your work earn my faith?"
"That's not how it works, Estephan."
"Just have faith in him, Esty."
"That's not how it works mother." Estephan replied.
He was a fourteen year old boy with a crooked arm. Cynic, yet smart, he was polite yet adamant in his lack of faith.
His parents were looking at him in anger and embarrassment, fellow followers and sick people were shocked and furious at his disrespect, but my teacher; the healer, was amused.

"Estephan, how long has your arm been broken?" My master asked.
"This would be my sixth year."
"Ohh, so your right hand would be strong now."
"Respectfully sir, I still use my left. Both hands are strong."
"I see." My master said with a chuckle.
"Sadly, I've chosen not to heal you without your faith. Instead, I'll invite you to earn it."
And so Estephan sat with us and the sick continued to be healed.
He helped us bring water, helped hold down the violent and followed to rejoice with the joyful.

One time during the healings, some of the disciples managed to talk to Estephan alone.
"How could you lack faith, do you even know who He is?"
"Cause there's nothing that faith has gotten for me. I've heard of who he said he is, so I'm sure that he can tell me to have faith and it'll encompass me. Yet here we are."
"Just believe in him and see what happens?" Another added
"Just believe in me and watch cows fly. Just believe in me and watch the sun go dark, or the rocks turn to water. Do you understand how little my faith is?"
"Your parents seem to have faith." The first disciple pointed out.
"They simply want the fame of being one of the families that your master healed. It's not true faith, it's no faith that I want."

"So which faith do you want?" My master joined in. The last of the sick had been tended to.
"Faith that clears all doubt. Undisputed, inarguable faith... The type of faith that comes with knowing." He replied looking up, his eyes filled with expectations.

"Faith with knowing.." My master reiterated thoughtfully.
"Yes."
"Are you annoyed that I question you so much?" Estephan asked.
"Me personally? No. Although I think many of my followers are frustrated." He gestured to all of us there.
"They are surely thinking, 'What right does a lame boy have to question our master's power?'"
"I mean no disrespect." Estephan immediately apologized.
"No. You most certainly didn't." My master replied, consoling him.
"You're just curious and a curious mind is a strong one."
"Yet, a strong mind shouldn't always be strong. For strength is hard, and hard things don't change easily."

"So I should allow my mind to be weak?" Estephan asked.
"No. Allow your faith to be strong."
"It's only by your faith can any of my healings work on you and for you."
"I don't think I can believe in something I haven't seen." Estephan said.
"You didn't see the line of people once sick but healed before?" Dominic, one of my fellow students asked.
"You aren't the first healing group to come here. And you wouldn't be the first to come with a group of "former sicks who are now healed", if anything, in yours, the acting would have been better."
"So do you really think all those people were fake?" Dominic asked
"So what do you think?" My master asked him calmly.
"I.. I don't know. I can't think right now." He replied shakingly.

"I see, why don't we pack up and get ready to go while you arrange your thoughts?" My master stood up and commanded us to gather our things.
It was getting late and the sun had all but fallen when we had finished.
My master walked back to Estephan who sat on his chair.
"Have you finished thinking?"
"Yes." Estephan answered.
"Do you have faith?"
We all stood, waiting for his answer.
"I don't know..." He replied.
"But I'm willing to try."
"Faith as small as a mustard seed. The most pure one, born out of desperation."
"He is willing!" My master announced, laughing wholeheartedly.
"But Master, he says he doesn't believe? Why would you laugh" Dominic said.
"The very fact he's willing is a good reason to celebrate. For it's only a strong mind that knows when the risk of having hope is not more than the pain of remaining hopeless."
"Estephan. Take a step." My master commanded.
"And let your hope be rewarded."

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