Greetings to all hivers around the world!
Have you ever experienced unfair treatment in your life?
I just want to share my little reflection about something that just happened today involving my husband鈥檚 aunt.
It is all started with the Wi-Fi. Since we are at the mountainous area, we are using starlink as our internet source and we鈥檙e sharing Wi-Fi from them, I asked why it suddenly turned off. She told me that her mother which is our "lola" or a grand mother turned off the circuit breaker because she was going to sleep at my other aunt鈥檚 house because "Lola" was the only one left at home and she is suffering diarrhea. She wanted to turn off the power before leaving the house.
I asked gently if it was possible to just turn on the Wi-Fi again because I had an online training at 10:30 PM. Instead of understanding, my aunt got angry. She raised her voice and said that her mother had diarrhea and no one could accompany her. Then, she shouted at me, questioning what kind of training I was even doing, and belittled me, saying I should stop dreaming and just help my husband work on the farm.
I was hurt and got teary-eyed. So what I did, instead of rebating with them I apologized and left. When I got home, I hugged my baby and cried for a while.
Sometimes, I wonder if I鈥檓 the only one going through this kind of unfair treatment in this world 馃槶. Is it just because I have less money or because I鈥檓 "just" a housewife? I feel so helpless, and honestly, all I can do sometimes is cry and feel sorry for myself. I thought that if I have bachelors degree they will treat me nice but it seems NO, I need to be rich than having a degree.
Yes, maybe what she said has some truth. But she does know my whole situation that I can't help my husband on the farm right now because I have a baby and a toddler and also no one can take care of them if I go out and work. I can鈥檛 bring them either because it鈥檚 rainy season, and they might get sick again when they will soaked in a rain.
So instead of doing nothing, I looked for online jobs that allow me to work from home using just my Android phone. That鈥檚 why I had training scheduled tonight. But now, because of what happened, I might not be able to attend and maybe i will loose the opportunity too.
When they need help, especially with paperwork or anything computer-related (since I鈥檓 an IT graduate), they come to me like an angel, but when they don't need anything from you, you're nothing to them. Also when they see us struggling, especially if we don鈥檛 have a good harvest, they become distant. If we鈥檙e doing well, they鈥檙e suddenly friendly and helpful.
It鈥檚 really confusing, and it hurts. Sometimes, I cry alone, asking why?
I feel sorry for my husband and my children. Sometimes, I blame myself for being poor and not able to help more. I know I have the skills, the knowledge, and the drive to become a breadwinner but I鈥檓 also a mom. I can鈥檛 just leave my baby and toddler to work. My kids welfare is more important for now.
I鈥檇 love to start a business, but I don鈥檛 have enough capital. I鈥檇 love to apply for a proper work-from-home job, but we have unstable internet and I don鈥檛 have the equipment like a laptop or a computer.
And then there's the pressure, people looking down on me, talking about me behind my back. Gossip are everywhere but i still choose to ignore and focus on my family. It鈥檚 painful but I need to be strong because if not, my family got affected specially my kids.
Yes, we don鈥檛 have our own house or land yet, but we鈥檙e able to feed our kids three times a day and provide for their needs. We never ask for money or food from them or from anyone, yet still, we face judgment.
Despite everything, I still believe that one day, I鈥檒l be able to earn more and provide for my family. It may not surpass what they have but atleast we have a stable life style. I believe I can. I just need to keep going, to trust myself, and to believe that I am capable.
Maybe this is life鈥檚 way of pushing me to grow and to show me that I can rise, even if I鈥檓 afraid of failure. I鈥檓 not weak, just trying to be one. And with this determination I have and with the help and guidance of the Lord, I can make it one day at a time. May it be slow but surely.
Thank you for your time reading this reflection of mine. Sending love to anyone who鈥檚 also struggling silently and experiencing unfair treatment. You are not alone. Still don't forget to smile and keep going.