Shortly after I published my post yesterday, we received a phone call from one of my family members about a potentially bad diagnosis which requires more testing. We've been working on trying to set up appointments for him ASAP to avoid delays in care. Naturally, this led to a breakdown of what I expected to do for myself (in this situation, I don't think it's even right to think about myself first, given my love for my family).
We're all somewhat scared right now, but proactive in getting the ball rolling. This is what we've been primarily working on the entire morning and afternoon. The American healthcare system, which has plenty of wonderful benefits, also has great pitfalls which are popping up as we go through the process. It's stressful, to say the least.
However, it's still essential to maintain self-care, particularly in times of high stress. This is when self-care matters the most.
Yesterday, I simply was not in the mood to do anything for self-care aside from wasting time on my phone simply scrolling, watching television, and eating dinner. Today, I'll resume some self-care because I recognize its importance. I have to stay healthy in order to help my family member effectively. It would be counterproductive to screw up my health, because then I would not be able to devote time and energy to helping my family.
Thus, I'll continue with the accountability list. It's going to be a bit brief because the plans were somewhat shattered by what happened.
Meditation is going to be rather interesting today. Being able to push this news out of my mind is challenging when I leave myself to my own thoughts. Let's see how it goes.
In the meantime, I'm going to hope that this is all just a health scare. For privacy reasons, I'm not going to divulge any further information about this health issue, but if it ends up interfering with my self-care (which is sort of the point of this account I created), then I may bring it up in future posts.
I don't really have a good way to end this particular post. Just... scared. And hopeful, knowing that hope is a dangerous thing.
