One thing to know about life is that no human is an island, everyone will need someone at any point in their lives. However, for you to attract the kind of friends that you want, you have to learn to value people. Value and attraction are mutually inclusive. That is, to attract and retain people, you have to learn to value people. People often tend to go to where their presence is valued. Similarly, others will be attracted to you if you value them.
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In relationship for example, one of the things that keep both parties together is value. The truth is that if you value someone or someone's friendship, you will not do ills against them, rather you will think well of them. Even at your place of work, you will discover that you naturally feel attracted towards the colleague that values your input than the person that does not see any value in what you do. Each time you make people that are around you to feel valued, they will bring out more of their value towards you. But if you make them to feel that they do not matter to you, you will just cheaply lose their support.
To increase the value you have for people, you should understand that humans are very far from the state of perfection and they are inherently flawed. This will make you not to base your value on the expectation of perfection from them. Once you understand people's imperfections, you will limit your expectations on them. You do not just value people because of what you hope to gain from them but because of who they are. You will agree with me that you like when people value you, so you should also extend it to someone else. Now, one may ask the ways to value people. Here are some points:
1. Focus more on people's successes and not on their failed attempts: As humans, it is true that there are inherent strengths and weaknesses in every human. However, you should focus and consolidate more on their strengths. The truth is that the person that always points out to your flaws and magnifies them without pointing out to any of your strengths does not value you. I mean, does it mean that they do not see any area of strength in you or they do not expect successes from you? As a matter of fact, if you stay around someone and all they talk about is your failed attempts without mentioning your successes, you should stay clear off the person because they are not your friend.
2. Acknowledge people's input and appreciate them: To value someone, you have to start by appreciating their input in your life no matter how small it is. Just to remind you, their help is not your right, neither is it their mandate to help you, but it is purely privileges, and as such, it should be appreciated. It is when you have appreciated someone for their past help that they will be willing to render their help in the future to you. If you do something for someone and they see it as too small to appreciate you for it, when it comes to another time to do something else for the person, you will feel reluctant to do it. But if they appreciated the first one, you will feel valued and you will do even bigger thing for the person.
3. Do not overestimate yourself above others: Each time you feel that you are better then everyone else, you will lose the value you place on people and consequently lose people. Obviously, no one wants to associate with someone that sees them as being inferior to them. If you feel that everyone around you is not up to par with your level, then you already have an overinflated ego. One thing with pride is that people do not feel comfortable around someone that is proud. So be humble.
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- 4: Be courteous with people: When relating with people, you should learn simple courtesy. There is nothing to gain by being rude to people, rather you stand the risk of losing the support of people around you. So learn simple etiquettes and courtesy. Have these words at handy: "please", "thank you", and "I am sorry". Also learn to smile a lot. You will not lose your respect if you smile, and you will not reduce in status if you treat people rightly.
Thanks for reading