More often than not, the things that cause major challenges or even breakup in relationships are some seemingly little things that are often overlooked, but they have the propensity to grow. A friend of mine that her relationship was recently challenged made a statement to me, she said; "Sammy how can this small thing cause big problems?" Well, to her, it was little, but she forgot that even the little things matter, because "big" also grows from "little." Here, was shall take a look at the little foxes (things) that can spoil the vine (relationship) which should be avoided.
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1. Disrespect
This has costed a lot of people their relationship and it is often neglected. There are things that people do that count as disrespect and may wreck serious problems. One should alse know that to get respect, you should also learn to give respect. The rule is very simple; if you respect your partner, it is also expected that they will reciprocate in like manner. But if you disrespect them, they might also return the same disrespect to you and may weaken the foundation of your relationship. It does not matter your social status or even your qualifications, you should understand that none of them matters when it comes to respect in relationship.
You have to respect your partner, not for what they have nor because of material things but because it shows that you are a better human. My friend narrated his experience with his former partner. The guy was working in a highly placed oil servicing firm. Suddenly, a new policy came up, which affected him, and he lost his job. After a few days of him being without job, things went sour in the relationship. The partner that was respectful and loving suddenly changed, even to his own surprise. The respect was gone, she started talking to him rudely, everything turned south, and the lady started seeing him as a liability even when he was making attempts to secure a new job.
When she could not keep up with him being without job, she bowed out of the relationship. How weird that all these while, the respect and love she professed was simply because of what she was getting from the man. It was not long and the man secured another better job. The lady began showing signs of interest again, but it was late. In a relationship, you should try to respect each other's feelings, their emotions, their boundaries, and even their choices. This makes the relationship stronger and better.
2. Unforgiveness and not apologizing
There are some people that, if you offend them, they will harbour the offence for so long in the mind and when they finally take their revenge, you will be wondering how they kept the offence in the heart for so long. It is true that offences from your partner will arise but how you handle it matters a lot. You should not wait until they have apologized before you deem it necessary to forgive. You can simply talk it over and settle without allowing it to linger more than is required. You do not have to prove a point by unforgiving your partner, rather it will end up spoiling your relationship.
Image from Pixabay
In a like manner, when you have offended you partner, you should be quick to apologise. You will be surprised how something a little as a simple "sorry" can go a long way to turn away anger and prevent a bigger evil. Trust me, it will not take anything from you to apologise, rather it will make you a bigger and better person. More so, you do not lose your status by apologizing. For example; as a man, you will not cease to be a man or you will not be less of a man if you apologise, and the same goes for a lady too.
It is true that you may step on each others toes once in a while, or you may disagree in certain points of view, which may breed offence, but you should learn how to manage it with a simple apology. If both of you start claiming right at the point of offence, it may degenerate into something bad. After all, even if you put two "wrongs" alongside each other, it will not become "right." So for the sake of your relationship and for sustainability of the same, you have to learn to forgive when you are offended and to apologise when you offend your partner. I will conclude with these words a friend once said:
The success of any relationship lies principally in both of the partners involved taking responsibilities to make it to work.
Thanks for reading