There was this businessman that lived in the place where I stayed before. This man constantly showed off expensive items and luxury lifestyle on social media just to attract attention and appear like he has abundance of wealth. True, he was among the subject of discussion in media, but the people who knew him, and even the neighborhood, did not respect him because he was dishonest in his business and was unreliable. However, in the same street, there was another businessman who lived a quiet life, but he treated his customers well and right, kept his words, maintained integrity, and worked hard. It was not long and he began to earn genuine and loyal customers, and people respected him. In life, earning respect is far better than just seeking for attention.
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A lot of people confuse attention with respect, but the two of them are different in many ways. Attention is when people notice you, or talk about you, or focus on you for maybe a moment or so. But respect is way deeper than that. This is because respect is earned through your character, integrity, behaviour, and how you treat people. You cannot treat people the way you like and expect to earn respect. You may need to know that someone can get a lot of attention, maybe because of what they do, but they may not even earn respect. You need to understand this, so that you will not spend your whole time chasing after attention while forgetting the characters that will earn you respect.
Attention is often temporary and short-term. It can come as a result of how you appear, your popularity, social media showoff, the amount of money you spend, controversy, etc. In the world of today, it has become so easy to create attention. I once saw a post of someone whose post got viral by just standing on the junction to hail drivers who drive luxury cars as they pass, and they may tip him some money. At that moment, he was commanding attention. In fact, the people who stay are around that neighbourhood knew him. It is true he got attention, but the question is, what about respect? That you are noticed does not meant that you are valued or that you are automatically trusted.
It is worthy to note that respect is built over time. It is built through discipline, dedication, consistency, honesty, good character, and the responsibilities you take. Unlike attention that is based on what people see publicly, respect is based on who you truly are; on your personality. This is why respect lasts so long because it is built on substance and not on appearance. You may not even have as much as someone else who has a lot of money to spend, but you can command a far bigger respect than them through your character.
One of the major dangers of chasing attention is that it can force someone to indulge in unhealthy habits and behaviours. I know someone who would borrow clothes and other wears just to look good to impress people and to flaunt on social media. Everyone who knows her knows her as the one who borrows often, yet online she will be commanding attention. All these for the quest and desperation for attention and approval. They can do just anything to feel relevant and for others to see them. But when they are not getting the attention, they will begin to be dissatisfied with life, and insecure. They forget that who they are is not a function of what people think of them.
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Respect does not require you to force it or to live to impress people, neither does it need constant performance. You do not have to force people to notice you to gain respect. Your actions, behaviour, and integrity should speak for you. Attention may seek for visibility, but respect brings credibility. When you earn respect, you will build trust and people who also value you.
Respect also has a way of influencing relationships in a positive way. When you build respect, people will trust your words, and you will become more dependable. You also need to know that to earn respect, you also need to respect others and respect yourself too. It is what you give others that will come back to you.
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