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Some of you have read my earlier posts about how I experienced something technically known as Sudden Hearing Loss Syndrome (SHLS). I literally woke up deaf after months of odd symptoms like vertigo attacks, extreme fatigue, and flu-like symptoms.
Aside from the obvious physical and emotional repercussions of suddenly losing one's hearing, I encountered a number of strange and unexpected challenges. Being deaf was something that I had never considered happening to me. In fact I had never given much though to deafness at all and just considered it something that people were born with or that they may get due to a serious physical trauma. So, when I became suddenly deaf myself, I found myself woefully unprepared to navigate the obstacles that every day life presented.
One such obstacle was going to the fast food drive-thru. I have always hated packing a lunch and so each day at work, I would look forward to my little escape out of the office to get my lunch at the Wendy's or Burger King drive-thru. After becoming deaf, habits became an important mental coping strategy as so many things in my life had drastically changed, that I felt comfort in clinging to the known.
That very first week I became deaf, and still continued to show up at work everyday as was my habit, at lunchtime, I drove my car on the familiar route to the drive-thru. It was only once that I had pulled into the long line that formed at lunchtime, that I began to realize that I was not going to be able to hear anything the other person was saying. Still, I reasoned that I could still speak my order, and I knew the amount that was due and would just have it ready. I'd say "Please" and "Thank you" and smile and say something cheerful to the person at the window and then be on my way with my food. No problem.
For some reason, I decided to order a chicken sandwich that day and as the person on the other end of the speaker continued to ask me some question I had no chance in the world of hearing, I feverishly spouted off every imaginable answer that a drive-thru personnel might like to hear: "No, just the sandwich, not the meal", "Oh, no fries", "No, thanks I don't want cheese on that", "No drink", "Just whatever comes on it is fine", etc.
My anxiety began to grow as the line of cars behind me lengthened and the drive-thru worker was becoming increasingly frustrated. Perhaps they thought they thought they were the victim of a prank at this point. Finally I was forced to admit to a strange voice that I could not understand what they were asking because I was deaf. I pleaded with them to please just sell me the chicken sandwich and not ask me any more questions.
About 30 seconds later, the door popped open and an older guy limped towards my car. My anxiety swelled to new heights and my face turned bright red as impatient drivers behind me began honking and some peeled out of the line and drove away. The older man stopped at my window and began doing sign language with me. I nearly began to cry and tried to explain to him that I had just become deaf and did not know sign language. After a few seconds of confusion, he seemed to understand, although I don't think he could hear me either. I pointed to the one in the picture and somehow came to the realization that he wanted to know if I wanted crispy, spicy, or grilled. I answered the question and quickly got my sandwich and left.
I didn't go back there for a while just out of embarrassment. I think that was one of the hardest days for me at that time. The realization that your life has changed in a way that inhibits your ability to function is very mentally difficult. Now that I have gotten a very powerful hearing aid and a cochlear implant, I am able to once again use the drive-thru. I still mishear them sometimes, but most of the time I do very well. It's been more than 2 years since that incident and I can still remember the feelings of embarrassment, anxiety, and despair that I felt at that moment. Another part of me can view it from the perspective I have today and realize how fortunate I am to be living in a time where technology and science helped me so much. I can also laugh a little bit because it was a little comical and sometimes you have to laugh at life or else life will laugh at you.
