In a span of four decades it seems that I have witnessed two very different worlds.
As a child growing up the world seemed so innocent. Neighbors were what they called 'neighborly.' Every Sunday afternoon I can recall my father taking out the charcoal grill and cooking hamburgers, hot dogs, chicken, and other great food. Did he cook for only our family? Oh no, he cooked for the other neighborhood kids, most of whom were my close friends. He would also grill food for other families who might have needed assistance or offer to do so just to save them the hassle of taking out their grill, heating it up, and all the other trouble of cleaning it afterwards. Everybody knew my father who would be walking home from the local IGA grocery story carrying bags of groceries on his shoulder. Yes, years ago in America people use to 'walk' to stores, parks, and friends houses too. Not any more. I remember neighbors coming over to my house to bring flowers or cakes for special occasions like birthdays and anniversaries. We would do the same. My parents would pick up a special item from the store and take it to a neighbor or friend because they knew they liked that particular item such as cookies, cakes, sodas and other items. This was done because people were genuinely nice and cared for each other. They were altruistic, meaning they did favors for others without expecting something in return.
Do you know why our neighbors did favors for us and my family did favors for them? Because back in the 1970's, 1980's and into the 1990's people actually cared for each other. I remember the moms in the neighborhood taking turns driving us kids to school if we wanted a ride in the car instead of walking. My friends and I would shovel snow off the driveways of neighbors so they could get to work, not because we made money from doing it. I remember my neighbors across the street asking me if I wanted to go with them for a 'drive through the country.' That was a time when people actually discovered the 'country' and did not drive 95 miles per hour in a Speed Limit 70 zone to hurry up and get home to do nothing with no regard for other peoples safety. People actually took time to enjoy the beautiful nature that has been provided for us. I also spent weekends at the 'community centers.' Does anybody know what that is anymore? That was a place where you could go swimming, play pool, ping pong, exercise in the gym, play basketball, volleyball, frisbee disc golf, foosball, and other games and activities. How did one get access to this? You just had to show a utility bill proving you lived in the community or city. It was paid for by the community through taxes and was staffed by volunteers or locals who lived in the area. Those were great times. People actually took time to get to know each other.
And families use to spend the holidays together. As the youngest of seven kids I remember spending the holidays with all of my brothers and sisters who would make every attempt to vacation at home with my parents. You are probably thinking how large my parents house must have been. Actually no, when I was born, there were 9 of us living in a 3-bedroom house. We were 'family.' When you were tired you just found a quiet place to sleep. Three kids in one room, three more in the second room, and as an infant I was in the room with my parents until my oldest sister left the house when I was a year old. Today I watch these shop for a home shows where an American family of four has to have a room for the parents, a room for each child, plus an 'office' plus a 'man cave' plus a 'diva den.' In other words a 6 or 7 bedroom home for a family of four. Can we say spoiled or high maitenance? We have become a 'me-centric' society here in the divided states.
As I am writing this we have an 'undefeated college football team' 13-0 that really only played three tough opponents and they are 'declaring themselves' the National Champions instead of being recognized by the rules of the college football association. Not surprising because here in America today everyone gets a 'participation' trophy and nobody ever loses. Even when sports announcers talk about a game they mention either a team 'won' or didn't win. Example: They didn't win the game today because of X, Y, and Z. instead of they LOST because of X, Y, and Z period. Our society doesn't say someone lost because it will hurt their feelings. Just like a student didn't fail an exam they didn't answer enough questions to pass but they have 'opportunity to improve.'
I am even more amazed with my T.V. on and the 'weather channel' has given names to winter storms, calling them Grayson and Hunter. Since when has winter snow storms been named? When I was growing up it was 'snowing' and it was part of the 'winter' season. When a tornado came to our town we didn't care what 'Vortex' it was, we ran to low ground or a basement. When a hurricane approached we left the area instead of worrying about what 'category' it is and then deciding to stay and 'hunker down' and 'ride it out.' Now every weather even including too little rain, too much rain, a hot day, a cold day, snow, no snow, one hurricane or ten hurricanes, tornadoes or no tornadoes, an increase in two degrees compared to this day last year.....is all the result of 'global warming.' In my country today everything is sensationalized today because it is worth more money and thus we can feel good about using tax dollars of hard working people to 'investigate' why it's 1 degree warmer this year than last year or to figure out why the ice caps are shrinking or growing, you get my point. Any every year it's always the coldest year on record (because of global warming) or the hottest year on record (because of global warming). And everything is better than before, 'the best game ever' the worst 'tragedy' ever, the biggest house, the richest, the most expensive, etc. Sensationalism at your service!
The last 20 years has really changed my perception of the world we live in. Electronics meaning cell phones and iPad's have taken over our lives. We don't call each other and speak on the phone, we text now. Parents don't send pictures of the kids to their grandparents, we post them on the internet using Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or some other social media account. Families really don't get together for the holidays as the media would have you believe. And neighbors don't even know each other unless there is a major disaster that brings them out of the house where they might see each other.
My feelings come on the tail end of my most recent surgery. I had family come to the hospital when I was there and they did not ask how I was doing at any time during their visit. They said 'hi' then asked 'any more test to be done?' then said "it's almost 7 o'clock, time for Jeopardy." Wait, what? I'm sorry, I thought this was my room, I thought I was the patient, and I think I am paying for my surgery. Now I am thinking 'did you come here to see me because you actually care or did you come here to watch T.V.? Well, after the show ended they said 'well, we better let you get some rest and we will see you tomorrow. Bye. It's only 7:30 p.m. at this point. When I was discharged from the hospital and stayed at their home they never asked to help me move around, get me something to drink, or to get my medicine. They even called yesterday and not once asked my wife how I was doing. My wife posted on Facebook about my surgery and I got 'LIKES.' Do you like that I am in the hospital having surgery? What does that mean? Pardon my squirrely ignorance but when you see a friend or family member is in the hospital, out of surgery, etc. you pick up the phone and call and speak to them. Why, because you never know when a day might be the last day for you or for them. It's called caring and compassion. Where have our feelings for other human beings gone? Are we becoming a selfish cold society?
Here is another example. I have a Fundraiser that was created back in September for my Thyroid Cancer Tumor Removal Surgery by some former co-workers. They have continued promoting it for me since then and set a goal of $6,000 to help pay some of the $20,000 in medical bills incurred. Good news is that as of today 5,000 people have visited the page and read about my 7 surgeries since 2014 and my 3 surgeries in 2017. How many donations do you think the page has?........................Sad news, 20 donations. That is 1 donation for every 250 people that actually took the time to visit my page. This means 4,980 people wanted to know what bad things have happened to me in my life but couldn't open their heart or their wallet and give at least $5 (the price of a cheap Starbuck's cup of coffee) or write 'feel better and get well soon.' Is this only happening in the states?
Where are all the people that claim to want a better safer world to live in? Doesn't it start with you/me/us?
And I appreciate when I share the fundraiser on twitter and facebook and I get the phrase 'I'll pray for you.' Let's interpret this. First you did not get on your knees beside your bed or at church and actually say my name in prayer so all those people that lied will have a price to pay at a later date. Secondly, saying you will pray for me means you will not donate because you really don't care and saying you will pray sounds like you care. I thought I would use this when I went to the hospital. True story: I am about to check-in for my surgery and I notice an older couple ahead of us, they have Medicare because they are over 67 years old, so they get surgery for FREE to them (paid for by working tax payers). Next is another couple and because they choose not to work, etc. here in the divided states they get Medicaid or free health care (again, their surgery is paid for by working tax payers). Next we go up to check-in and they tell me 'your surgery is expected to cost $39,200, how would you like to pay for this, we accept credit card, check, cash? Oh sure Skippy, let me pull $40,000 out of my a** and you can keep the change. My reply was 'we have insurance' (American translation: we pay premiums of $2500 per year to get reduced cost medical care). The hospital representative comes back to my wife and I and says 'ok, your total out of pocket charges should be $4,000 for the hospital portion, how would you like to pay?" My reply was "I'll Pray for You." You should have seen their faces. I said to the hospital team, "what, that is why my social media friends and family have said to me when I asked them for a donation so I thought this was a new acceptable form of payment." Skippy then says 'no sir, we don't take prayers here for payment.' This Skippy is a real hoot but has no sense of humor....LOL.
I would love to hear your thoughts about people in today's society. Share your replies on this post to see if this is a trend where you live too and to determine if this is a worldwide phenomenon.
On a serious note, I would also like to ask for your help through Donations and Sharing of my gofundme fundraiser on your social media accounts. You have the power to make a difference, whether you choose to do so or not says a lot about your character and your heart. Let's see how many of you will just 'pray' for me and how many of you will dare to donate and share.
I wish all of you the very best for 2018. May all of your dreams come true for a healthy and happy year.
