Hello friends of this community, One thing that I have seen in relationships is the demands, the lack of understanding, empathy, emotional responsibility, of course in every committed relationship there is a certain level of demand, because there are plans that are made together, it is something between two people.

There are agreements that the couple needs to comply with, however, it cannot become a type of demand in which women, for example, become a kind of mother, demanding everything, all the time, being on top of the other person, becoming irritating; There are also men who demand all the time, wanting to know where their woman is at all times, any type of excessive demand within a relationship is not going to work. The demand normally comes in a relationship of authority where one is above the other and this is very reminiscent of a father-mother relationship and you do not want to be with someone who looks like your father or your mother, who demands you all the time, you want to be in a relationship where the person reminds you that perhaps you are spending too much time on your cell phone and suggests you do something together, that is different from being on top of the other person all the time.

The topic of emotional responsibility is another issue that could touch on several posts, but we are going to comment briefly on this, you need to be responsible for your emotions, if you depend all the time on the other person to vent, to feel good, if you need the other person to be with you because otherwise you cannot live, you cannot deal with whatever it is, the situation is not in a healthy relationship. And if you blame the other person for your emotions, saying “if you are not with me I feel bad”, “if you are not with me I get sad”, “if you go on a trip mm I can't continue with you”; This is more than emotional dependence, it is a lack of responsibility with your own life and with your emotions. It is different from having a safe partner who helps you through your ups and downs, who accompanies you, who gives you affection, who is there to calm you down when you need it and this is very different, from saying that it will only calm you down if you are with that person, if this happens once it is fine, but if it happens all the time if it happens you are always putting that responsibility on the other and it is not fair at all.

Another very important point is unrealistic expectations in a relationship and what do I mean by this, every relationship will be made up of good aspects and not so good aspects, there are relationships that perhaps have a very strong point, such as having a lot of chemistry, which is incredible, but perhaps there are other aspects in which that couple should work, that is, there are couples who are very close friends who spend hours talking about everything, but at the same time they have other areas that need to improve, each couple will have several points in common and others that are completely different. For example, if you want your wife or your partner to be more organized or know how to cook, but you know that that is not your case, you know that that is not the reality, however, you know on the other hand that that person has other great and beautiful qualities, that is, if I focus on wanting my partner to be another way and I hesitate and tease her for not being like a chef or not being organized, it would make her feel bad, it would make her feel insecure, it would make her feel bad about herself. And she would not be happy in the relationship and neither would you, thus we would be entering into an unrealistic expectation, you both know your virtues, you have many virtues as a partner, as an entertainer in many things and you know it, but in others you also know that not so much, well the same thing happens with her. together you manage to tolerate the defects and shortcomings of the other, that is, those small weaknesses of each other are not something so big as to prevent you from being together. If it is important to you that your partner be a great cook who has extraordinary household skills, because your mother and your grandmother, you must establish that criterion before seriously committing to that person, lest you arrive at the wedding expecting your partner to be a certain way and feel frustrated because he is not, that would be unfair to her, since she did not know from the beginning that this was a very important criterion for you, so that you feel good.

Accept the other's failures if they are tolerable and remember that abuse and violence are not failures, they are reasons to end and often report, abuse, insults, rituals are not acceptable, these behaviors are serious patterns that must be addressed. Remember that it is important in a relationship to be yourself, to feel that your partner pushes you to be a better person, there must be reciprocity and emotional support and if you are single, work on your personal issues First, thank you for coming this far and we will read each other.