There have been many times I've allowed others to make me mad. I've chosen to surrender my autonomy, my proactivity by allowing others' actions to dictate how I feel. Are you guilty of the same thing? I bet you are.
"WAKE UP STUPID!"
That's a favorite line from one of my favorite movies, "A Christmas Story" (Warner Brothers 1983). And I think it's an apt way of communicating my thoughts.
My pastor told me once that I should consider being curious instead of being angry.
And boy was he right!
I love people, I really do. If I can make the decision to control my emotions...separate myself a little from the situation, and seek to understand why someone is so angry...it's really interesting what can happen every once in a while.
Early in my career, I worked at a company where we would form up in teams to go out and do our work out in the field. There were several different field managers, but there was one that everyone one avoided. I was told by my peers who were a little more seasoned than me to avoid that manager if at all possible. So, typical for me, I went and requested to work for that manager that everyone hated.
Long story short, my efforts to get to know this person, my seeking to understand why he was the way he was led to a great working relationship. In fact, by reaching out to him, he made some changes in the way he treated people and significant changes to his own personal life. He went on to be successful in his career.
I don't want to exaggerate my role in this, because the changes he made were certainly his decision and the results of his efforts. He probably knew he needed to change some things in his life, but I know that I deserve a little piece of the credit. Just a tiny bit of inertia in the right direction can be life-altering for someone.
Who is it that you have in your life who really gets under your skin...who is it who's really made you mad? Get curious, learn about them, take some time to care about them.
You might be just what they need to catalyze the change.
