As the cold, dark winter starts to settle in, I think about the years past.
Love, loss, excitement, joy, pain, anger, and every other feeling one could have.
I wonder if the "mid-life crisis" is truly a thing, and what causes it.
How do you know if you're in the middle of your life?
Does everyone go through it at the same age, or is there an underlying issue here?
Is it just because you get older and learn new things?
Or is it because the weight of the world just seems too heavy after so long?
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Death has always been an exotic, mysterious topic for my mind to muddle over.
What makes people commit suicide or who makes the decisions on living or dying and why?
And the golden question of course, what happens after you die?
All of this seems to manifest itself in the darkest hours of life.
How does one find the strength to keep going, while others feel the need to end it all.
I feel as though I'm sitting lost in a dense forest thinking and arguing with myself.
But I figure that in time, the path will reveal itself.
Should I stay and think about life more, do I even know the right thing to do...
Or do I just burst through, headstrong and worry about the consequences later,
Or I could try to figure it all out before I fall, hopefully playing each and every scenario perfectly out in my mind.
Who's to say if I'll live or if I'll die, and who's to know if I got it right?
It's confusing and frustrating when it mingles with the rest of the thoughts filling my head.
How does one not get so lost and broken just trying to figure it all out.
When it gets tough, a longing for days past emerges in my heart.
But was it really easier back then, or did I just not know better...
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