'You know, lately I've been thinking it wouldn't be so bad to stay here', says the hubs. This is big. He's been keen for us to move to Tasmania for community because he feels it's missing where we are. I don't care so much - for me, causual conversations with strangers fulfil my need for connection and most of the time I'm moving away from people, not towards.
For others, the hungriness to connect is as real as hunger or thirst. It's a growing epidemic and is bad for our health. For a man who has moved to the other side of the world, away from his family and friends, it's harder. It's harder the older you get, especially as we don't have as many community connections as we used to, with less volunterring or church communities that used to be the centre point of our society. We're often to busy to socialise in a highly indivudualistic society, yet if we don't, it can impact our health as much as alcoholism, smoking, or other forms of stress. So I do worry about my husband.
I've always been a big believer in joining community groups if you feel lonely. I don't, personally, as I feel more stressed in social situations, but that's me. Yet if no one is creating community groups, how exactly does one go about it?
Hence why we started our own little group, based off our interests - a local Land Rovers meet and drive. The first time we did a bit of a drive through the bush and a mud track at the end, but this time we drove along the famous Great Ocean Road in Victoria to Lorne - about an hour where we stopped on the way for photos. Lorne's a super busy place on the weekend so we couldn't believe it when we found enough car parking for us all to line up in a row in front of the Surf Club, right near the ocean and with shops too to grab a coffee or a pie. I'd made muffins and we made our own tea out the back of our classic Series car. WE have two - a Defender as well, but we took the Defender last time.
This time we had more classic Series Land Rovers, but we also had a Discovery and a LAndrover County 90, which was imported from the UK (we never had them here). An old Series 1 also joined us unexpectedly - he had seen our post invite at the very last minute and was quite apologetic, but we were really glad he turned up! He wasn't the only late arrival - we had another old one turn up and they didn't know anything about the event, so were pleasantly suprised!
And we also had our share of #landroverdogs too.
But what was really cool was realising all these people weren't just here for the Land Rovers. They were here for the company. They were here for other people. It was an opportunity to connect to others. Here we were, a group of strangers, laughing, joking and connecting over old cars. A car club, therefore, is a church of sorts.
What made me realise how important this aspect of the club was that people were super keen to meet up again, and took a long time to leave. Here I was thinking we'd be there for half an hour before people went on with their day, but we were there for two hours, and that isn't including the drive time.
Of course, it mattered that we all had something in common - a love of these utilitarian cars. I'm not sure I would have stayed as long at knitting convention.
What Jamie realised too was that he had does have friends - and whilst they are Land Rover tragics as well, they are friends nonetheless. They may bond over Land Rovers, but they are still there to talk to, especially two of the mates he's grown closest to over the years, where he can also talk about what's bothering him or upsetting him, or call around and visit when he needs male company.
That's huge. That's the difference between us moving to Tasmania, which I didn't really want to do (because of family) and staying here to continue with this humble community.
If you're feeling lonely or social isolated, I highly recommend starting a group in real life. It can be nerve wracking (what if no one shows up?) but more than likely people just like you, in need of social connection, will rock up too.
Do you belong to a club or community that eases your loneliness and fulfils your need for social connection?
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With Love,
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