Gummie Bears, or Weapon of War?

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I love me some funny Amazon reviews, and this is one of the most classic ones I know of. These reviews been giving me gut busting laughter since middle school and I think it is time to share the hilarity.

Why are they so funny?

On the outside they look like normal gummie bears right?

First off, these are sugar free, but that isn't all that crazy. What makes these little satan bears so freaking evil is the actual sugar alternative. These ursine confections from the Maw of Hell itself utilize a demonic compound called Maltitol syrup. And Maltitol has a very noteworthy side effect.

Yeah these clean you out in a way that is probably beyond hazardous to one's health. At least it makes for some quality comedy in the reviews. Let's face it, this is what you come here for.

Reviews:

As for the writing of this comment, I give it a B+. Some of the sentences need some structural work and editing. I particularly appreciated the symbolism on Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. My next favorite review takes a more scientific approach. With a larger sample size, it provides more data on the different ways the firebomb candies interact with one's intestines.

Well clearly subject #3 had the worst experience out of all of them, but at very least his suffering has brought you many laughs. This gave me an idea. If you are leaving a terrible job, bring these covert shart grenades to the office on the last day and always remember the pain you caused. Be careful though, that might be considered assault where you are!

Do you know any Amazon products with hilarious reviews? Let me know so I can feature them next! Have a good day everyone and remember: fear the bears.

--@reviewsatrandom