"We're all superheroes in our dreams, aren't we?".
I remember thinking I would do so much if only I had a little more.
More what?
Time.
Money.
Will.
Hearing.
Friends.
Personality.
Charm.
The list was neverending and compelling. Oh, I would do so much if ONLY!. It was also very comforting.
I could be everything in my mind, do nothing in my real life and feel no inner conflict. I had my cake. I ate it too.
I also grew for shit.
Once I started to look closer to the reasons and face them truly, I kind of realized that I was not a great dreamer but a great bullshiter. Which might be cool, if it weren't for the fact that I was bullshit myself.
I met with a friend today and we talked about what happend in our lives recently. He traveled in 2 countries, met someone I've always wanted to meet, swam in a cold ocean and a few other stuff I can;'t mention here. Just in the last 7 months.
A few of those things were on my list, a few others were just added.
If I get a longer holiday.
If Steem goes to 100$.
If....
Not all reasons are false. Life is full of constraints. But the issue to be me is this: I am not sure I can tell which is self-imposed and an excuse and which one is real. I start to wonder how much of my beliefs were limiting.
It reminds me of that old movie, The Sphere. Gifted with this alien object that could make all our dreams come true, the people chose to manifest their nightmares. They were not ready for this power and use it like children, in fear. Maturity comes from these lessons of loss and missed opportunities.
I am not sure what's next but I start to wonder more and more:
What's the worst that could happen if I do that?
Is this my fear speaking or is something more?
Answers.
Questions.
Growth.