It’s the start of a new month and one of my resolutions for this month is to be more consistent at sharing my thoughts through writing. Sometimes I forget that I’m a writer but the moment I settle down to write something, I’m reminded of what kept me on hive this long. Writing is beautiful and I can’t stop myself when I read an actual beautiful piece.
Well, this post is not about my love for writing but I just needed to say that, hehe.
Well, I just bagged a degree and it feels really nice and fulfilling especially when you expect a good result out of it. I mean, I thought schooling was going to be the end of me at some point but looking back now, I can’t help but feel grateful that I didn’t give up when I felt like it. I didn’t do it all by myself. I had really thoughtful and kind people around me and they played a major part in my success.
I remember while I was writing my acknowledgment statement on my project work, I initially just wanted to get it done with and just wrote a general acknowledgment but I later realised just how much ungrateful that will make me. I took a breath and reminded myself that writing more words is my thing and I shouldn’t hold back especially for the people who sacrificed so much for me when they had thousands of reasons not to.
And now that school is partially out of the way, I’m faced with my new reality that is partly enjoyable and partly disturbing. Now, I have to figure out “what next?” Well, I tried doing that while I was in my final year but I just couldn’t really concentrate due to the stress I was under at the time. But now, I have so much time and the ideas just keep rushing in. I know what I truly want deep down but it is a long way from where I am currently and I guess I’m a bit scared of my vision.
But then, it is a good thing that I’m scared of it because it means I didn’t try to settle for what’s more appealing. Currently, I’m taking those little steps to improving myself, my lifestyle and everything in between. Diving into different areas to see what is in it for me. And taking that first step felt really hard but the moment I did, something shifted. I became truly hopeful that indeed there is something in this new life I’m building for myself.
The best part? Some things are finally getting clearer as I take those steps. I know just how much I have prayed to God for clarity and the fact that I always have one uncertain moment to live through only means that God has answered my prayers even longer than I noticed. So, with every hard decision I have to make, I get the opportunity to get clarity.
I have so much I want to change about my life and one thing I’m going to always have in mind is that no matter what happens, people will always have an opinion and that is totally fine. What matters is the vision I see and how I want to get there. I have cared too much about what people have to say about my life, now, I want that to change drastically. I’m not giving room for anyone to talk me out of trying anything that I have in mind to try, except for a really important reason.
If it’s just their fears and worries, then I’ll pass. Someone once told me something that I always seem to be thinking about and the more I think about it, the more I agree with it. She said, ”we teach people how to treat us”. People study patterns and the moment they study a certain pattern around us, they are forced to respect it. There are certain patterns I have lived with for as long as I can remember but they haven’t really given me the results that I want. And a wise person once said that “you can’t keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result “. It just doesn’t work that way.
Anyways, this post is first for me and to anyone who needs a thing or two that I have mentioned.
Have a lovely and productive Month ahead! 🌹
Thank you for reading through! 💜