Hello everyone, today I would like discuss about an issue which we all have been facing regularly. So, it began the day, when my wife laughed at me and said, "You overthink a lot before you speak. Nowadays you speak much less than before." She knew everything about me because we grew up in the same town and when I was younger I would say whatever came to my mind without worrying too much. But now, it's the opposite. Back in the past I used to share an opinion whenever it felt wrong or right and sometimes I stopped and wonder, "Will someone misunderstand me? Will they get offended?" This kind of thoughts made me change slowly and I realized how much the world around us has changed.
People are unable to be vocal about their true feelings about someone. They are afraid of saying the wrong thing because almost any opinion can be taken in a different way. I feel it totally depends on the other person who we are dealing with, if they don't like jokes then it's better not to joke with such people. I understood it very lately but I have learned that all matters now. I feel that respect is very important and we should not neglect other people's feelings to make ourselves feel good.
However, if someone keeps living in constant fear of offending others, that can slowly take away their confidence to speak up against anything. Gladly in my home my girls are growing up in a different world from the one I knew. They know how to handle everything calmly without offending someone else, they care about other people's feelings which took me long enough time to learn. But I always wanted them to become fearless and ask questions or share their opinions.
One evening, after coming back home from the park. My younger daughter asked me, "Dad, why that woman at the park kept talking to herself?" I answered, "Well, maybe she was lonely." My elder daughter said, "Dad, maybe she has a medical condition. We may never know what she was going through." For a moment I was feeling embarrassed then my wife smiled and said, "This is why we talk. We learn from each other." So yeah, I have been learning lessons from my own family and nobody was trying to win an argument between us. We were having a healthy conversation and trying to understand better.
I think this is what many people are missing today. They don't know what healthy conversations are. These kind of people think if someone is asking a question it's offending or a simple reply could be offending to them. Anything can get them offended easily and they tend to end the conversations immediately. They wouldn't bother to know what the other person truly meant, so these people often assume the worst. When that happens, everyone becomes more careful and has less willing to share honest thoughts.
I also believe that we should be concerned about other people and avoid speaking recklessly. Our words can hurt someone, so does it matter if we have bad intentions or not? The answer is a big "NO." So, we should remain respectful to our opponents. Our choice of words define what kind of a person we are. But respect should work both ways. The speaker should use words wisely without using harsh words and the listener should give the speaker a chance to explain the reason. We should try to be a good listener and speaker.
I believe if we replace quick anger with honest conversation, start asking questions before judging and listen before reacting. Then we will have a proper balance. But it does not ensure that nobody will ever be offended. This will just help us understand each other better and solve problems faster. So, all we need is a society where people speak with kindness, listen with patience and that is a kind of world we should try to build.
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