I've been contemplating change, healing, and trauma and growth. I've been contemplating how action is borne of belief, and our state is both affected by what we do, how we do it and the things we believe about ourselves.
A simple example of this was my relationship to dishes and taking care of the kitchen. I had ptsd from the way i grew up with this, and felt a lot of stress and anxiety when it came to doing the dishes and caring for the kitchen, taking the garbage out, the recycling.
This became an issue living with people as they saw me not doing my share of the upkeep and felt unhappy about it- justifiably so. We had a house meeting about it and I broke down, sharing my source of anxiety, of stress, what I carried when i did the dishes. Most of my roommates were really gracious, understanding, compassionate. One in particular, asked if there was anything they could do to help. I thought about it and asked that he just sit with me in the kitchen and talk with me while i did dishes/clean. He did. And after just a few times doing this (and having an ex I lived with for years who loved cleaning the house) I felt the anxiety gone. He affirmed for me appreciation that even though I didn't clean every surface, do every dish, or make it surgery room clean, he was grateful for what I did do.
When we see behaviours in our friends, our families, ourselves, coworkers, that harm, if we start with compassion and curiosity, we just might find the wounds of experience, of toxic beliefs that need to be acknowledged and released to make room for a present understanding and health.
Peoples actions change as a result of their healing and their beliefs changing. or at least effortless, lasting change is a result of these things.
deep thoughts for the day
Image by Kei Rothblack from Pixabay
