Just a thought, but I think parenting should be easy. I know its not, but I really think it should be.
I think that every home should have one simple rule: Obey your parents. Obey them immediately.
Obey them without question.
Obey them quickly.
Obey them with respect, no eye rolling, no saying, But its Johny`s turn to wash the dishes. Or, Sally is the one who got the game out! Why do I have to put it away?
Obey them joyfully, with a smile.
Obey them even if they are wrong and you have a better way to do it.
Obey them simply because they are your parents and you must obey.
This would cut the stress of parenting don`t you think? Doesn`t it all come down to the children fighting the authority of the parents? We dont need a list of rules, we need only one. Obey your parents.
What would this look like? Mom, smiling, with no yelling or irritation says, Stop fighting with your brother. Obedient child says, Yes, Mom. and stops, while smiling. Obedient child then finds something else to do. And brother, who also heard Mom stops as well, smiling.
Sounds like we are in an episode of a 50s TV show. So what? I think it`s right and I want it for my home. Mom was not irritated because Mom knew that she would be obeyed. Mom may not have known why they were fighting. Mom may not have known that brother punched sister in the face 5 minutes ago causing the ensuing rumpus. It doesn`t matter. Mom does not have to play referee, Mom only needs to say, Stop.
Now how can we do this? I know that for me I worry about fairness, I worry about who was right and who was wrong. I worry that I will make the wrong decision and terribly (lol) wrong one of the children. I worry that wronged child will then have a terrible life because of me. What is wrong with me? Obedient children peace in the home.
Peace in the home less stress for Mom, Dad AND children.
Less stress for Mom, Dad and children happiness.
Happiness more fun.
More fun less stress.
Less stress well I`ve already covered that.
As a mom ( my grandkids are living temporary with me now and I am like a mom for them) I may feel like I don`t know the right answer to everything. I know I won`t and CAN`T make the right decisions all the time. But someone has to be in charge or sometimes we have chaos. Someone has to be in charge and if it`s not the parents, it`s the children. I know. Im right there.
Is it going to kill my kids to go to their rooms for a day? Several days? A month? Until they figure out that they MUST obey and can live peaceably in our home?
No, I don`t mean that they`d be in their rooms constantly for a whole day, week OR month. I just mean that if that is the punishment my husband and I choose for them is that they go to their room, then they are going to be there often until they figure out that we mean business.
Is it going to kill them if we choose to take their electronics away and it takes them 2 months to figure out that we mean business? Two months without electronics? Come on, thats my parenting DREAM. Can you imagine the creative things they`ll find to do? Write a letter, READ a book, draw, play, cook, play outside, pick up the phone and call someone instead of texting.
No, it`s NOT GOING TO KILL THEM. Why is it so hard to see? Obedient children happy children.
I don`t mean that I`m going to be a tyrant. I mean that if I need them to do something or stop doing something they are going to listen to me. I might even mean that they are going to be nice to each other or else. But I don`t mean we are going to be a strict military base. That would be something else altogether.
Can you imagine it? A relatively stress free home? Wouldn`t you, as a mom, instead of just needing more and more me time, be able to be a better Mom? There might be cheering and prancing and whooping and dancing. Instead of hiding in the bathroom. Of course when I say, You as a mom, I mean me.
P.S. No, Im not having a particularly rough day with the kids, LOL. I LOVE writing things out. It helps me to solidify my ideas and beliefs. And by solidify I mean kind of figure it all out. And by kind of figure it all out I mean write out one idea that I have out of millions of contradicting ideas. P.P.S. After writing this and scheduling it to publish I realized that obedience isn`t the ONLY thing we need. How about a little respect, huh? I may not be telling you directly to do something but you still better be nice to me. LOL (Pretty please?)