The wait was endless, I paced. I sat. I stood. I wanted to do all things and nothing at same time.
I was hot, thirsty, and most worrisome of all terrified.
This coming encounter awakened anxieties and fears which I never knew existed.
Credit
Yet I knew that day would come, I thought I had planned and prepared for it. Why am I this anxious? Because I was not sure I was ready. I, the person who was supposed to be strong and immovable, was reduced to this helpless mess.
What if it went wrong and I was not up for it? This was going to be the most important meeting of my life. I could not afford to a wrong move on this one. My wife was counting on me.
"You will be perfect, it would turn out ok." She told me.
But the nearer the moment approached, the more I doubted it. I was not at all sure I had the qualities for the role I would have to take.
The more time passed, the more I plunged into my delirium and my fears. I did not even hear the people around me. I could no longer see the comings and goings of those, often in a hurry, who surrounded me.
As I felt on the verge of going crazy with worry, I heard a cry. A powerful, penetrating cry, which immediately pulled me out of my daydreams.
The time had come. I had no choice now. Fleeing was impossible and anyway, I did not consider it. Not really...
A lady in white approached me and introduced me to whom I was so apprehensive for the coming. The words "a handsome boy" made their way to my numb brain.
Then, finally, my eyes met my newborn son. And then, as if by magic, all my fears flew away. My fear, which was however so engaging, suddenly appeared insignificant, laughable.
I took my son in my arms and for the first time in my life, I knew that if I were not perfect, I would be the one this child, my child, would need. I will be his father and it was now in my eyes, the only thing that counted.
@ambmicheal
@rituparnaghosh