My wife and I got married in 2006. That's us in the photo, on our honeymoon in Fiji. The picture says almost everything.
Have you ever seen a musical comedy called "I Love You, You're Perfect, Now Change"? You don't need to - reading it's name is all you need to know about why so many marriages end up in divorce.
Here's the secret
I think it happened on our first Christmas together, when I couldn't understand why she hated the thoughtful present that I'd bought for her. She somehow knew that she wouldn't be able to help me to overcome my handicap of not being able to read minds.
My wife achieved a state of enlightenment that day. Seeing no potential in me, she gave up on trying to turn me into someone else. She no longer saw me as a fixer-upper, but as a lost cause, albeit one who would suffice.
Can it really be that simple?
You're asking a man to give a more in-depth analysis of relationships? Aw, nuggets! Okay, let's see if we can break it down into a manageable list of items that you can follow as a kind of methodology:
- Yes
I'm sure there's more, but that's the important stuff. It works both ways - don't try to change the other person by getting them to adopt your way of doing things. When it comes to deciding how to behave, it's best if you make decisions for you and they make decisions for them, because if those wires get crossed, you'll both be unhappy.
Of course, this post is just a bit of self-deprecating humour. If you're able to give better advice, let me know in the comments.