Where human interaction and clear communication is the key, the ability to command attention vs demand attention is Paramount. Now my question is, do you command attention or demanding for it?
You will find out!
Most people have a perfectly Normal, deep down desire to be noticed. They use social media to share special achievements, dress certain way to get attention. Share a special talents with others in order to receive applause for their hard work. The truth is that We all feel good when we are being acknowledged
When it comes to small business marketing, their whole effort is based on demanding attention and this how they do it:
They sent us e-mail we never signup for.They pester us on social media site and business event. They call us in the office when we are busy. They come knocking on our door, when we are relaxing with our family. They interrupt our TV and radio shows with their messages. Infact they do everything possible to demand we listen to whatever they have to say.
Demanding attention is all about interrupting people, by pushing messages at them. The problem with this kind of approach is that our natural reaction is always to push back. Just because they demand our attention does not mean we are going to be receptive to them.
Just for instance, if a marketer walks up to you in the street and pokes you in the chest in order to get your attention. He will definitely get the attention but not the kind he needed.
KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DEMANDING AN ATTENTION AND COMMANDING AN ATTENTION
demanding attention put the focus on you first, the deep down goal is to put something out, only to have it return back to you.
Commanding attention throws back the focus off you first. It might return to you. But only after it has positively impacted someone else or might naturally as a result of living your life authentically.
Now the real life example:
Why do we notice flowers, blue water or diamond.
None of these things ask for our attention, they didn't do anything to get attention from us. They don't shout or scream for us to know how special or beautiful they are. They rather command our attention. And we appeal to them without even knowing it.
This is how laura Taylor tried to differentiate the attention demanders and attention commanders in a her blog :
- Attention Demanders:
Share pictures or statements on social media with the primary goal of having others “like” them, feel envious, or to elevate themselves.
Self-promotion.
- Attention Commanders:
Share pictures or statements to let friends know what is important to them, what they are currently doing with time or talents, or something that will make others feel good reaction within themselves. They post content that will make others think, laugh, appreciate, smile, or learn. Self-expression
- Attention demanders
Often require people to prove their friendship or devotion, especially on social media. They are “just checking” to see who is really their friend. They’re “just seeing” who’s reading their posts and who is really going to step up and do something for them should they need it. They often test the people in their lives to see if they are still in the game.
The demander says: “I’m just checking to see who is really here when I need them. Just seeing if anyone will step up and help me because I broke my leg.”
- Attention Commanders:
Act like a friend even when other friends seem distant or silent. If they are in need, they simply ask for help but don’t require anything of anyone. If they want to hang out, they plan or invite, instead of saying, “I have 300 Instagram friends but no one to go to the movies with. No one ever asks me.” If no one is available to hang out, they use their time to help someone else.
The commander says: “I broke my leg and can’t drive. Is anyone available to take me to the (doctor, game, school) this week?” Or, “I’m going to see the new Star Wars movie this weekend. Who’s in?”
- Attention Demanders:
Dress, shop, or do makeup and hair with the primary goal of getting others to notice and comment. They might look out of place because they are overdressed. Maybe they’re dressed too “out there” or provocatively for the situation or event.
The demander thinks: “I look incredible. I own the room.”
- Attention Commanders:
Dress to make themselves feel wonderful. They have their own, unique personal style and know what looks best on them. They dress appropriately for the situation or event and exude quiet confidence.
The commander thinks: “I feel great in this dress and shoes, and this is my favorite way to wear my hair.”
- Attention Demanders:
Show off abilities, brag, or try to hog the spotlight.
The demander thinks: “Just wait until the crowd sees me.”
- Attention Commanders:
Always perform to the best of their ability, reflecting the hard work they’ve put in.
- Attention Commander's honor the gifts and talents they’ve been given by living them out to the fullest and pushing themselves to grow.
The commander thinks: “I worked six weeks on this piano piece. I hope the audience loves it and it makes them happy.”
- Attention Demanders:
Require people to love them, or to be their friend through guilt.
The demander thinks, “You need to do more to show you are my friend or that you love me. You need to prove yourself because I’m worth it.
- Attention Commanders:
Become the person other people want to have in their lives.
The commander thinks, “I’m going to be the best, most giving, authentic version of myself and if you respond to that then I’m happy to have you in my life. I’m going to act like a person of worth.”
Commanding people’s attention takes more creativity than demanding it. But the upside is huge. That's because we treat people or things that has commanded our attention very different than those trying to demand our attention.
Think about it; we felt more confident in believing what we read in a popular blog post. Than a spam e-mail sent by unknown person.
No matter who you are, you can either command or demand an attention. You can either pester or attract. Interrupt or engage. It's a skill you need to build.
thanks for reading,
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