His feet were bare, and he was mixing everything on the plate in front of him together. He was sopping up runny egg yolks with kimchee, and butter ran into his avocado. I was horrified.
I stood up.
"I'm afraid I have to go." I was bringing this blind date to an early close.
He looked at me over the tops of his smudgy glasses and grinned.
"Well, well, well. An honest one. I think I'll keep ya." At this, he pulled a Glock from under his filthy robe and aimed it at me. He snickered. I stood open mouthed as rivulets of sweat ran down my face and dropped onto my pecan braid. I began to whimper.
"My pecan braid! And it was fresh for once!"
Across the crowded restaurant, a lone woman had her eye on us. She began to smile from ear to ear, then approached our table.
"Smile!" she said. "You're on candid camera!"
This is my entry to 
Does anyone even remember Candid Camera? I always felt very sorry for the victims.