I had one of those strange, quiet moments of clarity yesterday while doing something completely mundane—I think I was just washing the dishes—and I realized how much time I spend treating my own brain. I'm way too self-critical about everything.
I used to be one of those people who read every psychology book, listened to every podcast, and tried to self-diagnose. "Oh, I do this because of my attachment style," or "I feel this way because of theory X." But honestly, lately I've just been trying to observe my mind. It's fascinating and a little terrifying how much we sabotage ourselves just to feel a false sense of control.
I realized that my mindset has been stuck in this strange loop of "optimization." I was so focused on fixing my thoughts that I forgot to actually experience the world. I was observing my life from a distance instead of just living it.
The shift for me came when I started practicing what I call "active subtraction." Instead of asking, "How do I fix this anxiety?", I started asking, "What if I just... didn't?" What if I didn't overthink that text message? What if I let that awkward conversation be awkward? What if I stopped trying to psychoanalyze everyone around me and just listened to them?
It sounds simple, but unlearning is actually exhausting. We're so conditioned to believe that if we just read the right "expert's" book, we'll finally understand ourselves. But I'm starting to think that the best insights come from simply sitting with your own thoughts.
I'm currently trying to apply this to how I perceive the world. Less analyzing, more feeling. Less reacting to some hang-up or disturbance, more observing what's actually happening in front of me.
I don't have a neat conclusion or a five-step guide for this. It's just where my head is at right now.
I'd love to know if this has happened to you too.