People are different, they have different coping mechanism to stressors. Some tend to adapt positively and highly utilize the tough times to their advantage, while some do not adapt and tend to be broken by the problem.
Hard times bring about strong people who are fixated to solving a problem and manipulating the event to be positive to them.
Ever since my advent into this earth, even before I was born (during conception), I have faced many challenges ranging from the defence mechanism of my mother's uterus to navigating my way round the birth canal of my mother.
Coming out to realize that I am in Nigeria, I melted because I know that tbe problems here will be very much overwhelming. Wanted to go back in but welp, I did not want to kill my mom. Hehe.
Anyways, I have constantly been in troubles, lots of difficulties and sometimes, I thought they will swallow me, but well, i survived and here i am typing a post.
Isn't it amazing?
One difficulty I will love t share was when I was still dating.
I loved my girlfriend with every thing I have. Like, the love was genuine and she meant the world to me. I could say that I loved her more than I love myself.
Don't beat me for coming clean, I'm just trying to be genuine here
It got to a point that she became scared of the level of love I was showing her. That's to tell you how much I loved her. And oh, irrespective of the fact that it didn't work out, I will not hesitate to love another person like that, even more than that because I believe in love.
Let's ride on
Now, the problem here was that I became very much obsessed with her. I always want her to be by my side, call her always, became very much protective of her, fearing that harm will befall her. The amazing thing here was that she reciprocated to almost the same level, if no more than the level.
That was the major difficulty I faced.
I lost almost everything. It was like a drug addict, they do not want anything unless the have administered themselves the dosage of drug they need.
I lost touch with the little friends I tried to make, stopped calling anyone, could no work no more as i used to because of she wanted attention always and stuffs like that. Her friends even told me that I can not do without her and funny enough, they were correct.
When I broke up with her, It was really hard for me. What she did is not of importance here, but she did what every guy will never forget in a lifetime.
I was down, sick, had to go back to my old worthless life of drinking and smoking marijuana and other toxic smokes, it was really bad to the extent that I had to threaten myself so that I will not go back to her.
For the records, that was my first love. Genuine love relationship.
Now that was the problem. I felt like I lost myself because I and her became one person in separate bodies. Honestly,I was not broken but shattered. Smoked all day long, drank different brand of alcohol, womanized a lot to see if I will get over her through other ladies and I did many stupid things that I regret currently. I even made two persons fight over me and one almost stab themselves with a knife in my kitchen. You want to know my response to her?
Hate me, despise me, run from me and cling to life in an insightful manner until you have the courage to come back at me and revenge, or better still, pass the hatred down to other people. I am the devil you see and the demon that you should hate.
This was my exact words to her. Yes, I was being the Itachi of my time but mine was because of my love life has and issue and I was passing the aggression to others.
HOW I COPED WITH IT?
After passing through the stags of grief, I decided to pass the aggression.
The event I stated above made me talk to my self. It was really awful and up till date, that day hunts me. I was not moved by the tears of the lady that wanted to kill herself, and I added salt to the wound by telling her all that and even told her that I was toying with her because I was also heart broken.
I talked to myself after sometime and decided to be alone for some months. This break up happened August last year and to be honest with you all, I have not moved on. I just abstain from hurting other people, stopped the dirty lifestyle of drinking and smoking, and I also tried to work on myself and my bank balance.
Up till date, I have not moved on but I refused her when she came for a reconciliation.
LESSONS I LEARNT
I learnt a lot but I hate the lessons I learnt.
The major lesson I learnt was to make money, stay away from love for now, make more money, work on yourself to be the best, and make even more money. I also understood that ladies are not the angels they appear as, they always have a reason for doing everything, you just don't know that yet as a guy until they have accomplished their mission or at the verge of accomplishing their mission.
I also understood that access to me is a privilege that people should work for. Giving it out for free will cause people to abuse it.
However, deep down, I will never give less love to any lady, instead I will show love, kindness and be a gentleman while I watch as she flop and never get the chance again.
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Thank you for reading ☺️
