I welcome you to my blog and another wonderful edition of the Hive Learner's featured post. As much as being stubborn does not always pay off, there are times when you just have to stand your ground and not do as you are told. Not doing as you are told can sometimes be tagged as disobedience by others, but for you, you are just fighting for your right or trying to pass a message, so they know you are not the type of person they can just push around how they want and when they want. There is some stubbornness that helps you earn respect; there is some that gives you your place in the room.
One problem with about 80% - 90% of humans is that the moment you give them the room and are always obedient and don't try to counter their orders or instructions, they automatically start to feel all mighty and powerful. They start to feel like they own you and you should be a servant to them, as they start to treat you like one, which makes it important to, despite being obedient, from time to time bring in a little bit of stubbornness to show them that you are not a pushover, you know your rights, and are only that obedient because it is how you were raised. The moment you start to sense that feeling of being high and mighty, look for a good day to remind them that the respect you are giving them can be taken back.
In 2018, I lived with an uncle and his wife and kids before gaining admission into the university. Since I was raised to respect elders as well as be obedient to them, I went there with that same mindset until I started noticing a shift in the wife's attitude and habits. Her every errand slowly started becoming an order. No more please like it used to be; rather, she started feeling like it was her right to send me on every errand. Even some errands her children used to run before my arrival were now errands I had to run while her children sat to watch TV. It was just the level of respect and obedience to her that was getting into her head, and I knew that had to be corrected.
How would we have kids aged 8 and 12, but I would have to sweep the house, fetch water and carry it upstairs, then I would still have to do the dishes while they watched TV? It started small and then slowly became normal, and before I arrived, the kids were the ones doing all these, but because they had seen me, I now had to carry all the weight while her children lived like princesses and princes. A day came when I decided to be stubborn. She told me to do the things I had been doing, and I refused. She reported to my uncle, and we started resolving the case she tagged as disrespect and me talking back at her. But after I explained to my uncle and a family friend who was at home that day, they blamed her for pushing me to the wall.
Sometimes, your stubbornness can take away your sufferings because if I had kept tolerating and kept being obedient, then my suffering would continue and would not go away. My uncle and family friend were just in their judgement, but she did not take it lightly with any of us after that, though at least the weight of the chores I did was reduced, and that is all that mattered to me at that point. Humans will always want to take advantage of a good thing. I am not advising stubbornness or disobedience, but sometimes that is the only way to put people in their place.
Images were generated using chatgpt.
