Perhaps her strategy was to make it seem like " I was the one who split from the group." Unfortunately, I was smart enough to discover that she manipulated everyone .
Perhaps god intervened on my behalf because in the end, I stayed in the house with wonderful people. I have made new friends and, I felt that I became a better person. However, due to visa conditions, I do need to say goodbye to them and get back here in Cairns.
Being back in the city is great minus the fact that everyone seems to have an underlying desire to have peace between me and this lady. It was really a very uncomfortable experience. Imagine people giving their unsolicited advise because they thought that it is the "Christian" way of doing things. Some even went to invalidate all the emotional pain and sufferings I experienced because, "its part of growing up." While others pegged my blatant annoyance to pride.
To set the record straight, I wanted everyone to understand that forgiveness is not an easy thing. For me, when I say I forgive a person, it means to say that I recognized that what that person did to me is wrong. But in order for me to forgive , that creature needed to acknowledge that what it did is not right- something that she never did. It would also help to ask what it can to do make up for it.
Another essential part is that, it does not mean that I will suddenly develop selective amnesia and forget about everything. For me, it meant that I am moving forward. I am healing. I can look back on the past and be reminded of that incident without feeling any anger, bitterness or negative emotions.
I can vouch that I often work on my relationships by adjusting, compromising and advocating for a common cause even at the expense of my comfort and time. However, I value me as a human being. Its not about pride or dignity. Its just that I recognize that I am a person who needed to be dealt with love, respect and compassion. If a person did something that is terrible, pre meditatively, subsequently with the goal of sidelining, deceiving or hurting me or the ones I love,they're out of my life and they're a fair game. I am not saying that I will start hunting down these people. Its just that when I say that they are fair game, from then on, anything that these people did to attack or malign me will be engaged. I usually do not want to be on an aggressive stance but I have draw the line and say, ENOUGH.
I find that setting these boundaries when I do engage on forgiving a person felt great. I do not resent the person, I do not even hold grudges on me, the people who convinced me to let go or anyone else. No person is a doormat. No person is to be taken for granted Until the wrongdoer understood the extent of its mistake, it does not hurt to move on on your own. There are many ways to have a closure- not just by forgiving the offender. The best closure sometimes is simply deciding to end that relationship, moving on and not saying those absolving words.