I will not make it a secret that my life right now is very busy. I would have added very stressful. But ever since I have learned how to feed my soul, I do not feel such a thing. Yes. I still feel tired. But there is a sense of peace in me that I have never felt before and here's why:
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I do take my time to listen to what I really want to happen, if its reasonable and achievable. These days, I have lowered the bar into the most essential things I could possibly do for a day. Though I still have long term goals, I tried making that list a bit shorter each day and concentrate into what really is important and practical.
I stopped telling me that I can do better or worst than anyone. What I do is the product of all my previous experiences and trainings. Anyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. How I play mine is up to me.
In my type of work, being burnt out is likely all the time. Before I start preparing for my work, I pray. I take time to focus all my energy and mindset on my tasks at hand.
Things are not often what you expect them to be in the workplace and when things gets really out of hand, I take time to breathe. I do not feel guilty for feeling annoyed, angry or upset. Its part of my reaction. But, I do take care never to lash out at anyone though.
One of the things that happened to me on my last shift was this: my boss asking me if I am all right. I answered, yes. When things gets out of hand, they really do but give me five minutes to sit quietly and then, I will be all right.
When I get back home, I make sure that I take care of me by either doing something that makes me happy like, watching my favorite shows while eating ice cream, reading, drinking coffee, or simply eating something that I love. It does not hurt to slap on a sheet mask after taking a shower and lying down quietly for 30 minutes while listening to my favorite playlist either.
Circumstances, people, things and events are beyond my control. But my reaction is and that is what I usually do. When everything gets sorted out, the memory on how you reacted and how you treated people while under pressure lingers. I know. I make mental notes on other people too.
I think one of my previous issues then was that, I tried hard to please everyone because, I wanted to fit in to the group. There will always be those group of people who feel the need to make you fit into their own perceptions and if you can't or refuse to do so, would turn on their judgemental streak.
I had my fair share of these people and, I walked out on them.
I kept telling me this today: Enough. Enough expectations to meet. I am a good person. I do no harm to anyone or anything. That is enough.
My problem is sometimes, I dwell and overthink things up especially those that upset me. I find myself stressing and unable to do my present tasks because I kept dwelling on things that happened in the past.
Learning to say ENOUGH and telling me that what is important now is the present and the future helps a lot. I cannot stop me from thinking over things especially those that bother or needed my attention. But I can definitely silence them.
I did not even know that there is such a thing as "feeding" one's soul up until now but, it definitely made my life easier here. They say that we should all be kind to others and each other. I agree. But, I think its more important to be kind to one's self first before others. I want to end things up with another quote from Jack Kornfield:
If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.
