Personally, the way I see myself matters. I don't think it's possible for outsiders to know me better than I know myself, even though their opinions about me cannot be ruled out completely.
In some cases, their opinion about me is the same, but in some, it differs. Maybe the environment in which we met together could give them a different opinion about me, and maybe they could be right; all the same, the opinion I have about myself has been the same all along because this is me regardless of how people applaud me.
Let me start by saying this: a lot of times, people say this popular word about me, which is, "Nkem, you are a strong woman." Yea, most of these people who know my stories say this a lot, perhaps because they see me shining outside even in my running around with the life challenges; they don't see me cry or complain, but deep down, I am not strong, but I am striving to remain strong because it's good to stay strong in and out despite what we see in this life. That's why I said initially that deep down, I know myself more than what anyone says about me, but hopefully, I will be that strong woman people perceive me as.
Again, I like to believe I am a compassionate person, supportive and social. Yeah, very compassionate that I carry people's trouble on my head as if it's mine, or should I call it empathy? Whatever, but this is one opinion about me that many others confirmed. In fact, hubby always reminds me to think first about myself before giving too deeply for others, but I don't think it's something bad.
Supportive? Oh yes. With my time, talent, and resources, as long as at that time it's within my reach, I don't turn back at all. People around us see us; they see our strengths and weaknesses and derive some of their perspective from there, and this is another of the people's opinions about me that is the same.
Being social seems like I was born with it, because the way I usually adapt so quickly with new people and socialize and mingle together has been baffling. Yeah, even in our virtual world, a lot of folks see me as a social individual. But then again, I can worry for Africa. This one is too obvious to people around me.
I remember one time we gathered in church for a women's meeting, and our leader said openly that they should leave Nkem because she worries a lot. Everyone agreed to her statement, and I was ashamed of myself. After all, they were right; it isn't a wrong opinion about me, but before then, I knew that about myself.
Overall, I personally don't allow people's opinions to define my person completely, and at the same time, I don't ignore that either, but rather, I ponder on it deeply and see how to improve if needed. At times when people say a thing about me repeatedly, I will pause, rethink, and act accordingly, but most importantly, I like to say that embracing God's truth about me is the ultimate thing rather than what people think of me.
